words in movies
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, and Rachel is entering still pregnant.]
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Rachel: You. Like you havent done enough.
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Rachel: God. (Sits down.) I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life!
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well yknow what? Screw em! If they dont want me there, Ill just hang out with you guys.
Rachel: (overhearing that) What-what about me?
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Rachel: In a minute!!!
Rachel: (entering) All right, all right. Lets go!
Rachel: No, Im fine.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
[Scene: Dr. Longs Office, Ross and Rachel are waiting for the doctor. Ross is drumming his fingers on the bed.]
Rachel: Ross.
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben
Rachel: were you this irritating?
Rachel: Excuse me?!
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Rachel: Hi Dr. Long, how are you?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Rachel: She has the drugs!
Rachel: Okay. (Rachel lies back.)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Eh, just a tad.
Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Great! We will do all of those.
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor.
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Rachel: Why? Why today?
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are trying the home remedies again.]
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, weve done it before well do it again, itll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl?
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Rachel: (breaking the kiss) Oh God!
Rachel: Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke.
Rachel: Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay!
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Rachel: Okay, that we may be able to do.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Rachel: Ohh!!
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Rachel: Oh yes.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Rachel: Yeah and you stretch em out with your big old clown feet.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! You are?
Monica: Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that youre packed.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Rachel: Thats right!
Monica: I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Rachel: Oh, good point.
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
[Phoebe and Rachel look uncomfortable.]
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
Rachel: No.
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Rachel: Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish.
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Yeah. (chuckling) A year ago..
Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is!
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Rachel: He got it a flea market!
RACHEL: Of course I clean it. I mean, I,I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it.
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Rachel: (reluctantly) Ok... O-k...
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: Hello! (Listens) Oh yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! (To Phoebe) It's Chandler.
Rachel: Oops, sorry. Listen, we-we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Rachel: Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty. Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty? Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty...
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
Rachel: (imitating the receptionist's tone) through the glass doors.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Rachel: So now what have we agreed?
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Rachel: And-and what else?
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Rachel: Really? Just casually strewn about in that reckless haphazard manner?
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Rachel: Yeahh, but, but those really go better with pants. Maybe I should wear pants?
Rachel: Wow! What did he say?
Rachel: Very good.
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!
Rachel: (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real!
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Whatd you get?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Apartment pants?
Rachel: Jill?
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]