words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Rachel: Well, my eye is a little itchy.
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Rachel: Richard? I'm not gonna go see your ex-boyfriend!
Rachel: Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to an eye doctor!
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Rachel: (flinches again) Monica! Come on!
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Rachel: Chandler!
Rachel: Just stop it! Come on!
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Rachel: All right, I'm outta here!
(Rachel heads for the door but is intercepted by the doctor.)
The Doctor: Hi Rachel!
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: So were done then!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (jerks back from the tester) What?!
Rachel: All right.
Dr. Miller: 1 2 3! (Rachel jerks back on 3.)
Rachel: I'm sorry. All right, I'll just stay in here this time. (Puts her head back.) Okay.
Rachel: Uh-huh.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay. Okay!
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Rachel: Yeah, no, I don't-I don't put things in my eye.
Rachel: Great!
Rachel: Okay, just give me the damn drops! (Grabs them and storms out.)
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Y'know, I-I gotta tell ya, those eye drops are a miracle. My eye is a 100% better.
Rachel: Damn!
Rachel: Bye you guys!
Rachel: Oh honey, I'll say good-bye to you at the car if you don't mind the puss.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Rachel: Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose.
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Rachel: Okay, then y'know what? Help me! I need help! I can't do this!
Rachel: All right!
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: Yes!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
Rachel: (thinks) Four.
Rachel: Really?!
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Great!
Rachel: Okay.
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Rachel: Because I knew you were lying!
Monica: All right, come here! (She gets up and drags Rachel off of the couch by her legs.)
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Rachel: Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!
(Monica starts biting on the eyedropper, spraying the fluid all over. But Rachel keeps turning her head back and forth and Monica keeps missing.)
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The gang is surrounding Rachel at key positions.]
Rachel: Yep!
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
Rachel: Oh! (She's trying to recover while still on the floor.)
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
MONICA AND RACHEL: Oh, no no no no no.
RACHEL: OK, well, bye. [kisses him]
Rachel: What are you guys doing here?
MONICA AND RACHEL: No no no no.
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
RACHEL: Impressive.
Monica (as Rachel): Hi.
Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. (They hug.)
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this?
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
RACHEL: I think it's sexy.
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
RACHEL: Oh, it was so much fun.� It felt so good to be out.
Rachel: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!
Rachel: No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasnt working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed.
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
RACHEL: Oh! What's new in sex?
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: No. [hitting each other]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
Rachel: (upset) All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.
Rachel: Well theres yore. And uh, yknow, yesteryear.
Rachel: Well hello! Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: NO but Ross. We are never gonna happen, OK. Accept that.
RACHEL: Ross, there is no us, OK.
Julie: Rachel, do you have any muffins left?
Rachel: The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. (Puts 'em on.)
Rachel: Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now!
Rachel: No. What do you do if I say we are coming about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
RACHEL: No, no, ACC-cept that.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
RACHEL: What, what incident?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
ROSS: [Rachel enters] Oh.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Oh my God.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
RACHEL: Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?
RACHEL: Where's Chip, why isn't he here yet?
RACHEL: Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?
Rachel: Well, congratulations, so do you love her?
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
[Rachel enters]
RACHEL: Hey you.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
RACHEL: So, uh, how was your day?
RACHEL: Really? Mine too.
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Joey: Oh my God, Im sorry, Im being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
RACHEL: Hi.
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
[ROss approaches Rachel at counter.]
RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]
Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.
Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
RACHEL: Just one cheek.
RACHEL: Rub it.
RACHEL: C'mon touch it.
Rachel: No, no, no.... the, um, the... 'love' part?
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
[Rachel enters]
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
[Scene: A judges chambers, Rachel and Ross are filing their annulment papers.]
RACHEL: What's this.
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
[Rachel and Ross enter]
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
RACHEL and PHOEBE: Oh God, absolutely.
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
RACHEL: I know.
RACHEL: It's OK, it's fine.
RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks.
RACHEL: Oh.
RACHEL: We won't?