words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay, here you go. (rolls her back to Rachel)
Gunther: (bringing Rachel a mug) Rachel, I made you a cocoa.
Joey: (leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Rachel: What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass?
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
Rachel: Yeah, but Mon thats totally different. He was youre health teacher.
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
Rachel: Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday.
Rachel: I know.
Rachel: Ow!!
Rachel: (looking at the outfit) Got a job on a river boat?
Rachel: Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
Rachel: Now that youre on youre own, youre free to look as stupid as you like.
Rachel: Yeah, come here!
Rachel: Yeah. Oh! Was how you invented the cotton gin?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Rachel: (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
Rachel: Im fine, Im fine.
Rachel: Yes I am!
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Rachel: No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. Its a very big deal, theres a lot of people there I have to meet.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Rachel: Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, itll still be broken then.
Rachel: But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready.
Ross: Rachel...
Rachel: Look, either help me or go.
Rachel: (with a hurt expression on her face) Okay, but before you go, could you help me first?
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
Rachel: (She drops the brush) Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too?
Rachel: (taking the brush back) Okay. Lets use this brush. (Hands him another one.)
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.
Rachel: Oh-ho!
Rachel: Hey! Thats just poking me in the eye!
Rachel: Okay, just sweep it.
Rachel: Right.
Rachel: Okay, now make it even, cause we dont...
Rachel: We dont want it-it to be too much, we want it to be subtle.
Ross: No. No, y'know you dont, you dont wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Rachel: Since when, since when do you think I dont wear enough of this?
Rachel: Blow it.
Rachel: Sophisticated like a hooker?
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
[Scene: Rachels Bedroom, Ross is finishing up her make-up.]
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: Sure, Ill just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing.
Rachel: Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
Rachel: Okay. Okay, great! Umm, okay, just turn around.
Rachel: I dont want you to see me naked!
Ross: Rachel, Ive seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Yknow? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think its weird.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ross! Stop that!
Rachel: Come on! I dont want you thinking of me like that any more!
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Rachel: Rosss...
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
Rachel: O-kay!! See what you did, Im gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay?
Rachel: Thats it. (She crawls onto the bed) Ow!!!
Rachel: Oh-ow!
Rachel: Ow!
Rachel: Ow!
Rachel: Ow!
Rachel: Ow! Ow!
Rachel: Okay, I do.
Rachel: I really do.
Rachel: Okay. Oh wait, wait-wait, youre not gonna come with me?
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Rachel: Im sorry, I just cant go to the hospital lookin like this.
Monica: Okay, so it doesnt involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
[Scene: The Hallway Between The Apartments, Ross and Rachel are coming back from the hospital. Ross is helping her up the stairs.]
Rachel: Okay, youd tell me the truth. Right?
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: What thing? What thing?
[cut to inside Monica and Rachels]
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Rachel: Ross, why didnt you tell me that?
Rachel: I cannot believe you.
Rachel: That is the sweetest thing, I just....
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry I spoiled youre evening.
Rachel: Um-hmm, yeah.
Rachel: (After he closes the door) See ya.
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
Rachel: Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier...
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
Rachel: Oh wow, it's so beautiful...
(Rachel laughs)
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
Rachel: Well, not this second!
Rachel: Uh, Pauls Caf�. They got great food and its really romantic.
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant.
Rachel: What do you really want to do?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Rachel: Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor?
Rachel: OK, thank you.
Rachel: What? You really think she's hot?
Rachel: And Joey?
Rachel: Oh, wow, Molly is just great!
Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
Rachel: Hello.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Rachel: Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel comes in and Gavin is there]
Rachel: I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Rachel: Well, yknow I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Rachel: N-no, Emma dropped her sock.
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel and Gavin there, phone rings, Gavin picks it up]
Rachel: Hi!
Kim: Ohh honey come here. (Hugging Rachel.) Ohh it will be ok. Weve all been there.
Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up) (to Rachel) Yes?
Rachel: Shh!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: Yeah, sure!
(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Rachel: What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Rachel: Mmm hmm.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
Rachel: No not that. I kissed Gavin last night.
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Rachel: Who is it?
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Rachel: Come on! Serious-ser-ser-seriously, what did she mean by that? (Mimicking Monica.) Especially you!
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
Rachel: So did I
Rachel: It's just a cold
Rachel: Oh no no no
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Right, right, yes!
Rachel: What? What's the matter?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: OK.
Rachel: I thought it was Ross.
Rachel: There isn't. There is totally isn't.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Yes
Rachel: So seriously...rodeo clown?
Rachel: People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin
Rachel: No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Rachel: Ew! Gross.
Rachel: No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
Ross: Small... (Rachel comes back into the living room and catches Ross mocking her.)
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I�ve been looking for you everywhere!
Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.
Rachel: You�ve being seeing someone?
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma�s mother.
Rachel: Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants shes always wanted!
Rachel: (entering, happily) Gooood morning!!
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot!
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Rachel: Oh. Oh! (Takes a slug of tequila.)
Rachel: Score.
Rachel: Yeah.