words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!
Rachel: My God!
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Rachel: I dont know.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Mrs. Green: Try. Theres my little girl. (Goes over to Rachel.)
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Rachel: Oh well actually gonna use a nanny and uh, I dont even have a housekeeper.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Mrs. Green: Oh Rachel!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Wh-wh-what? What?
Rachel: Yes. Yes I do.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Rachel: Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
Rachel: Mom thats okay that you didnt get you a gift!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Wow!
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Rachel: Oh, it dispenses clean diapers!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Rachel: What?! It goes ten times a day! What are we feeding this baby?! Indian food?!
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Rachel: I dont know, Id leave it on the changing table? (Everyone gasps.) What?! Whatd I do? Whatd I do?!
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Rachel: Okay mommy, dont ever leave me. (Hugs her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Rachel: Wait-wait where are you going? Where are you going?
Rachel: Okay.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Rachel: Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Rachel: I do. I really do. I dont know anything.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: Hello?! I still dont know what the hell Im doing!
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Thank you. (Hugs him.)
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Rachel: (closing a book) Okay! Im ready.
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Rachel: Uh, put your elbow in it.
Rachel: Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
Rachel: Check if its wet, check if its hungry, burp it!
Rachel: A card! A card! I pick a card!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Rachel: So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3?
Rachel: Me too.
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment]
Rachel: (on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
(Rachel comes out of her room and starts staring at him unseen)
Rachel: (excited) Are you serious?
Rachel: Yeah, that was an awesome day!
Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep youre gonna miss wishing you were with me!
Rachel: Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking!
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.I'm sorry, good luck! (they hug)
Rachel: (watching a television where the scene is shown, startled) OH!
Rachel: NO! (pause) Or, cut!You know, that's your call!
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Rachel: You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come.
Rachel: Hi!
<Amy starts spitting on Rachel's hand and Rachel is saying ew and pushes her away>
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Rachel: God, you have to tell me what happens tomorrow!
Rachel: Kiss me.
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Rachel: (pause) Kiss me.
Rachel: No, I'm saying...
Rachel: I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Rachel: Olivia.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the sofa]
Rachel: Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute.
Rachel: So do you think that my dream means anything?
Rachel: You took the same class twice.
Rachel and Monica: Hi.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
Rachel: Ok, we're still on that.
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: uh-huh
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Rachel walks in]
Rachel: (looks puzzled) How...how...?
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Rachel: What...that scene I saw was so good!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: What...how is it going with Drake?
Rachel: (to herself) Wow...definitely just Drake...
Rachel: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that
Rachel: Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.
Rachel: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?
Rachel: Yeah well, Im-Im a slut.
Rachel: So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldnt be awkward!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Im-Im sorry, I just thought that
Monica: No, no, Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah
Rachel: Yeah! Okay, two larges coming right up!
Rachel: No reason.
Rachel: No, one of them...
Chandler: (to Rachel) Uh, Rach... I think I have something that belongs to you. (shows her the cuffs)
Rachel: (giggling and whispering) Maybe.
Rachel: I know them from work.
Monica: Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated.
Rachel: I don't know, what were the names I just said?
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... (she plays the answering machine)
Rachel: You don't know anything.
Rachel: You do that every year??
Rachel: Well, then so you just invite me...!
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Rachel: Oh, that's why you got these tickets to that play, to get rid of us??
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Rachel: ... Ok, who is this?
Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Rachel: What? Yes, I am!
Rachel: Sure! (Monica takes her apart) Oh...
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is taking down the Christmas lights. Monica sees her, so she leans out of the small side window.]
Rachel: Ok
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
Rachel: Nice to meet you.
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: I always loved that!!
Ross: What? (turns around to look at Rachel)
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
Rachel: Okay, calm down, here they are. (Gives back the sunglasses.)
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
Rachel: Because youre not finished yet and I wont have it! Greens do not quit!
Rachel: (drunken voice) I think I am.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
(Rachel is puzzled)
Rachel: (picking up the tissues) Why, why, what's wrong with these guys?
Rachel: Who (looks around)?
Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey.