words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Hey, so did everything go okay with the annulment?
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Okay, umm, Im gonna get my sweater. (Walks away.)
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel: Oh? Yeah! Sure!
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Rachel: Yeah, were, were actually just gonna walk cause its right up there at the Angelica.
Ross: Well, okay so, I dont have it all worked out quite yet. Just dont say anything to Rachel, please?
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
(Rachels cab backs up.)
Rachel: (to the driver) Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
Rachel: What was that?!
Rachel: I havent seen it yet!
Rachel: Noooooooo!!
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is pacing anxiously waiting for Rachel.]
Monica: Ugh, I thought you were Rachel!
(They hug as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Yknow, you think youre making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
Meg: Well, I dont care about the divorces either, but I wouldnt date him. Its just that hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "Hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Chandler: You just said Of course youre my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though?
Rachel: (entering) Hey roomie!
Rachel: (gasps) Are you pregnant?!
Rachel: Um-hmm.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Rachel: Okay. (Sits back and resumes her reading.)
Rachel: Sure? (Monica hands her one.) Thanks.
(Rachel mumbles uh-huh and spits the half-eaten cookie out onto the tissue.)
Rachel: Monica, where did you get these?!
Rachel: Ooh, good God, theyre so yummy! (She re-ingests the previously expelled cookie matter from the tissue.)
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Ross: Basically, Rachel and I were in Vegas and we got drunk
Russell: (interrupting) Im sorry, is this the same Rachel whos name you said at the altar in the second marriage?
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
Ross: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? (Russell glares at him.) I will think about the therapy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is painting her toe nails as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Wow! Mon, thanks! I love this plate!
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Rachel: Are you okay? Youre not blinking.
Rachel: Oh, all right. But yknow I gotta say, I dont, I dont think six years counts as an era.
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Rachel: But I
Rachel: It is? Really?
Rachel: (starting to lose her composure) I mean were not, were not gonna live together anymore?
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Rachel: I mean its the end of an era!
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! (He goes into her apartment.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Rachel: Thank you.
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
Rachel: Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!
Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it!
RACHEL: Uhh, let's just stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing you daughter' and you should be ok.
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Rachel: I know...
Rachel: Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time.
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Rachel: (through wall) Ooh... I love Barbados!
Rachel: I wanna sleep, I wanna eat, I wanna take a shower, I mean before she wakes up and we gotta do this all over again.
Rachel: Come on! I dont want you thinking of me like that any more!
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?
(Rachel gets up and heads for the rest room.)
Rachel: Oh, right, that's me!
Rachel: Pheebs!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
(Rachel walks away)
(Rachel runs over)
Rachel: "Ooo," what?
Rachel: Hi Pheebs!
Rachel: Well, sure...just a sec, though, 'cause Paolo's on his way over.
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, Pheebs...
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
(Rachel looks stunned)
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Rachel: OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory?
Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Rachel: I don't know...right, he's the pig!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Rachel: Ok, Ok, Pheebs...
Rachel: Oh, God...
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: (walks up with a pot of coffee) Would anybody like more coffee?
Rachel: Oh, Ross...
Rachel: Oh...
Rachel: Ooh, I've been better...
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great!
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)
Rachel: Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.
Rachel: What? What?!
Rachel: Oh!!
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Rachel: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!
Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight.
Rachel: No.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Rachel: Shut up!
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
Rachel: Thats right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. (She sits down in the chair.)
Rachel: Ohh were not sailing.
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel.
Rachel: Yes, my sister's giving us her place for the weekend.
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)
Rachel: We're sorry.
RACHEL: That's not the end.
Rachel: I could not have done this without you.
Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Rachel: Monica! I couldnt find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch!
Rachel: Wow.
Rachel: Kinda hurtin my hand though.
Rachel: Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.
Rachel: Oh, God, he's such a pig,
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Rachel: What happened?
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Rachel: Do what, do what?
Rachel: Alright, c'mon! (Miserably) Let's play Twister!
Rachel: Well, you were pretty damn good.
RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Rachel: (On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Rachel: Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table.
Rachel: Or?
Rachel: Tommyyyy! Say, whats your favourite thing about summer?