words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Rachel: Oh yeah, Id actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
[The next one is from Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, Rachel is describing her desert to Joey and Ross.]
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Rachel: Hey, come on now!
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Rachel: You too!
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
Rachel: Oh but look! Thats gonna leave a stain!
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
(Rachel throws some of hers down.)
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.)
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe they didnt put it in the part where you said you didnt watch soap operas.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Rachel: True story.
Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Rachel: You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow!
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Ross?
Rachel: No, that's ok, let's me just get my check book!
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Rachel: Rossy, Rossy.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: What, it's ok when Chandler does it?
Rachel: Mommas Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois. (They exit with the cheesecake.)
Rachel: (entering) Im just going to grab the phone.
Rachel: Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Rachel: Any chance you think the couch looks good there?
Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Rachel: Oh, that's funny!
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Rachel: Oh, its gonna be fine.
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Yeah, why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
Rachel: Ok?
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Rachel: (getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Rachel: And your fly's still open...
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you dont want to do that, then youre gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Rachel: Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
Rachel: Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this.
Rachel: You guys wanna get some coffee?
Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.
(He hangs up the phone and tears the note off the pad.� Then, he stops and re-reads it.� Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Barbados, hotel lounge. David, Phoebe and Rachel have just arrived.]
Rachel: Pardon?
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.
Rachel: Of course!
Rachel: Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I think Im gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?
Rachel: Honey dont worry, it was my mistake.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and its almost seven oclock.
Rachel: Okay (desperately hands the receiver over) no, you do it.
Rachel: Then what's with all the bananas?
Rachel: Oh God twenty seconds my ass!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are on the couch as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
[Scene: Outside Danny's apartment, Danny and Rachel are returning from their date.]
Rachel: Who's this from?
Rachel: Well, thank you, Melanie.
Rachel: I meant er, (struggling to concentrate) young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach.
(Rachel picks up the next gift.)
Rachel: What did you just say?
Rachel: Oh.... my God.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Rachel: Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right?
Chandler: Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! (she leaves)
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Rachel: Hi.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Rachel: Uh... I don't know.
Rachel: Yeah, but Mon thats totally different. He was youre health teacher.
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Rachel: No, I meant with the dropper over here. (Points at Chandler.)
Rachel: Wha...
Rachel: No!
Rachel: No, I'm just....
Rachel: I don't know... sometimes it doesn't.
Rachel: (confused) Huh?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Who is it?
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Rachel: C'mon up.
Rachel: I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
Rachel: Would you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a date here.
Rachel: Youre out of Diet Coke.
Rachel: Ross, it's too hard.
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Rachel: Ross, you're like my best friend.
Rachel: Right! You're right!
Rachel: You know what?
Rachel: If we broke up, and I lost you...