words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is pouring Rachel coffee.]
Rachel: Thank you.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Rachel: Hi! All right, lets go shoppin!!
Rachel: Oh, okay.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Rachel: Wow! Umm....
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe about Mark, as Gunther eavesdrops behind them.]
Rachel: I know.
Rachel: Well, I told him I would think about it, but Im gonna tell him no.
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Rachel: I dont have any issues with my Father.
Ross: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Ross enters, walking very confidently.]
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, heres a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
Rachel: Oh, y'know, its just like hats, and a shirt, and CDs, just sort of stuff that youve left here.
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that y'know its time we-we y'know, move on. I mean, I mean dont you think?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Good.
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
Rachel: Okay, all right, give me the mug! Ill keep the mug.
Rachel: You know how much I love that T-shirt! You never even where that T-shirt!
Rachel: Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty....
Rachel: Petty... (goes into her room)
Rachel: Petty...
Rachel: Small...
Ross: Small... (Rachel comes back into the living room and catches Ross mocking her.)
Rachel: You are so just doing this out of spite.
Rachel: Huh?
Rachel: You have not worn that T-shirt since you were 15!! It doesnt even fit you anymore!
Rachel: (imitating him) yeah-yeah-yeah!!
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is pouring Mark some coffee.]
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Rachel: Y'know what?
Rachel: I cant do this.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Rachel: Oh God. Im sorry about this.
Rachel: You sure?
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Oh, great. Although I did sit down where there wasnt a chair.
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
Rachel: Hi. Look um, about what happened earlier...
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
Rachel: Oh wow, it's so beautiful...
(Rachel laughs)
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
Rachel: Well, not this second!
Rachel: Uh, Pauls Caf�. They got great food and its really romantic.
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Rachel: I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant.
Rachel: What do you really want to do?
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Rachel: Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor?
Rachel: OK, thank you.
Rachel: What? You really think she's hot?
Rachel: And Joey?
Rachel: Oh, wow, Molly is just great!
Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
Rachel: Hello.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Rachel: Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel comes in and Gavin is there]
Rachel: I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out!
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Rachel: Well, yknow I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Rachel: N-no, Emma dropped her sock.
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel and Gavin there, phone rings, Gavin picks it up]
Rachel: Hi!
Kim: Ohh honey come here. (Hugging Rachel.) Ohh it will be ok. Weve all been there.
Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up) (to Rachel) Yes?
Rachel: Shh!
Rachel: What?
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: Yeah, sure!
(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Rachel: What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Rachel: Mmm hmm.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: You do?
Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
Rachel: No not that. I kissed Gavin last night.
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Rachel: Who is it?
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Rachel: Come on! Serious-ser-ser-seriously, what did she mean by that? (Mimicking Monica.) Especially you!
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
Rachel: So did I
Rachel: It's just a cold
Rachel: Oh no no no
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Right, right, yes!
Rachel: What? What's the matter?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: OK.
Rachel: I thought it was Ross.
Rachel: There isn't. There is totally isn't.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Yes
Rachel: So seriously...rodeo clown?
Rachel: People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin
Rachel: No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Rachel: Ew! Gross.
Rachel: No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I�ve been looking for you everywhere!
Rachel: (whispering and begging) Please? (Ross makes a "whatever" gesture) YES! Sandy you're hired.
Rachel: You�ve being seeing someone?
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma�s mother.
Rachel: Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants shes always wanted!
Rachel: (entering, happily) Gooood morning!!
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot!
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Rachel: Oh. Oh! (Takes a slug of tequila.)
Rachel: Score.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Oh yeah.