words in movies
(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Rachel: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
Rachel: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...
Rachel: What?
Rachel: (grabs the bill) Give me that!
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Rachel: OK. (walks away)
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Rachel: Really.
Rachel: But you could teach us.
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Rachel: Settle what?
Ross: The game, Rachel, the game. You owe us money for the game.
Rachel: Oh. Right.
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!
Rachel: (in disbelief): Sak's... Fifth... Avenue.
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh my God!
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
[Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.]
(Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Phoebe and Rachel: Yes, we should. I think we should.
Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.
Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement)
Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
Ross: Alright. (to Rachel): Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
Rachel: I'm in.
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
Rachel: And your fly's still open...
Rachel: Ha, I made you look....
Rachel: I couldn't be inner. Monica?
Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.
Rachel: Uh, I will see you... and I'll raise you. (throws chips in pot) What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Rachel: No..!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Rachel: Oh, you are losing. Definitely losing. (phone rings)
Rachel: (answering phone) Hel-lo, Rachel Green.
Ross: (mimicking Rachel) Mee mee, mee-mee mee.
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me. (covers up phone; to Ross) It's about the job.
(Rachel walks into kitchen to talk on the phone.)
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
(Rachel goes back and sits down. The rest don't know what to say.)
Rachel: Yeah...(sigh)....OK. Where were we? Oh, OK... five card draw, uh... jacks or better... nothing wild, everybody ante.
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Rachel: Yes, we do. (pause)
Rachel: I see your fifty cents... and I raise you... five dollars. (throws it in)
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: (to Ross): Loser?
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Rachel: How many you want?
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Rachel: Dealer takes two. (she deals herself two cards) What do you bet?
Rachel: OK... see your two... and I raise you twenty. (throws it in)
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
Rachel: OK, then get me your purse.
(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
Rachel: (lays down cards) Full house.
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Ross: Oh, well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards, you know. (looks at Rachel) But, uh... look how happy she is. (smiles)
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Rachel: OK, OK, it's my turn. (reads the answer)
(Rachel starts drawing what looks like a bean.)
(Rachel begins tapping the picture of the bean frantically.)
Rachel: Yes!
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Rachel: Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really I don't mind.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Why.
RACHEL: Daddy.
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.
RACHEL: Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.
RACHEL: I do.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
RACHEL: Yeah, like a chimney.
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
[Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.]
Rachel: What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think Im falling in love with you all over again.
RACHEL: Ok.
RACHEL: Oh ok.
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
RACHEL: Well I've had it.
MNCA: Sure, what? Ok, ok. [hangs up the phone] [to Rachel] Music?
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, everyone is watching the tape of the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Rachel: Gay? Yeah. (Kathy leaves dejectedly.)
Rachel: Ugh, horrible! I did the stupidest, most embarrassing thing!
Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
RACHEL: On someone's lips? Where'd you get the hickey?
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
RACHEL: It is our first official date. Our first date.
RACHEL: Basically, there's the thing, and then there's the stuff after the thing.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
RACHEL: Oh, stop that, stop that right now.
(Rachel comes out.)
Rachel: Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet.
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
RACHEL: Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.
Rachel: Taurus?
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
[Ross and Rachel leave.]
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
RACHEL: OK, that's dead right?
RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.
RACHEL: Ok.
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
RACHEL: Here are your cakes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]
RACHEL: I'll say.
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
RACHEL: Yeah, right.
Rachel: Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.
Rachel: O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that...
Rachel: (crying) I'd do anything for you, you know that.
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
RACHEL: Nooo!
RACHEL: Wow! What's that like?
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
RACHEL: Hey!
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
Rachel: No, it was just the three of us.
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
RACHEL: You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Damnit!
RACHEL: Hi.
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
RACHEL: Okay, I'll see you after the thing.
RACHEL: Thank you, Okay, Okay.
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
RACHEL: God I know, you're right.
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
RACHEL: I know.
RACHEL: Oh, hi!
RACHEL: What?!
RACHEL: Insane!
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]