words in movies
(Rachel enters)
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Rachel: Bloomingdales eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)
Rachel: No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!
Rachel: Uh-huh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job.]
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Rachel: Oh, Im so sorry.
(He walks over to look and some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)
Rachel: Well, at least thats a great suit.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Rachel: Okay.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, you needed to speak to me?
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
(He walks out and Rachel stares at his butt as he leaves. He makes a wrong turn.)
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Rachel: Hi-e!!
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?
Rachel: Yeah, thats true.
Rachel: Chandler, what did she say?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Rachel: Hmm-mmm.
Rachel: Yeah but, Ive never asked a guy out before.
Rachel: No. Have you?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Rachel: Ohh, God, I just got so nervous that he would say no.
Rachel: Really?! You think that will work?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Rachel: Great.
Rachel: Sure.
Rachel: Yeah-eah-ha!
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Basketball!
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Rachel: Really?
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Rachel: I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket.
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Russell: Of course you did. Look Ross, you cant get an annulment unless you and Rachel are both there.
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Rachel: Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really I don't mind.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Why.
RACHEL: Daddy.
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.
RACHEL: Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.
RACHEL: I do.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
RACHEL: Yeah, like a chimney.
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
[Phoebe and Rachel are at the counter talking.]
Rachel: What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think Im falling in love with you all over again.
RACHEL: Ok.
RACHEL: Oh ok.
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
RACHEL: Well I've had it.
MNCA: Sure, what? Ok, ok. [hangs up the phone] [to Rachel] Music?
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon, please! Don't make this harder than it already is!
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, everyone is watching the tape of the sonogram. Rachel is on the phone.]
Rachel: Gay? Yeah. (Kathy leaves dejectedly.)
Rachel: Ugh, horrible! I did the stupidest, most embarrassing thing!
Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
RACHEL: On someone's lips? Where'd you get the hickey?
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
RACHEL: It is our first official date. Our first date.
RACHEL: Basically, there's the thing, and then there's the stuff after the thing.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
RACHEL: Oh, stop that, stop that right now.
(Rachel comes out.)
Rachel: Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet.
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
RACHEL: Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.
Rachel: Taurus?
[Ross and Rachel leave.]
Rachel: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?
RACHEL: OK, that's dead right?
RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.
RACHEL: Ok.
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
RACHEL: Here are your cakes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]
RACHEL: I'll say.
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Ross: (to Rachel) But work comes first! (to Mark) Oh hey, but thats sad about you though, what happened? Burn out? Burn all out, did ya?
RACHEL: Yeah, right.
Rachel: Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.
Rachel: O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that...
Rachel: (crying) I'd do anything for you, you know that.
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
RACHEL: Nooo!
RACHEL: Wow! What's that like?
Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight over and over again, Ross, no, youre, youre, youre making this too hard.
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
RACHEL: Hey!
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
Rachel: No, it was just the three of us.
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
RACHEL: You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Damnit!
RACHEL: Hi.
Chandler: Lets. (Everyone gets up and leaves Rachel.)
RACHEL: Okay, I'll see you after the thing.
RACHEL: Thank you, Okay, Okay.
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
RACHEL: God I know, you're right.
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
RACHEL: I know.
RACHEL: Oh, hi!
RACHEL: What?!
RACHEL: Insane!
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.