words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Rachel: (angrily) BACK OFF!!! (She starts banging on their door.) Get up! Get up! Get up! God damn it! Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up!!
Rachel: What is that noise?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Rachel: Well, Ive been up since six. Thanks to somebodys dumb-ass rooster.
Rachel: Yeah! Especially not with all of these knives and cookbooks around
Rachel: What?
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Rachel: How many guesses do you get?
Rachel: No! Theres no orange juice in there! We win!!
Rachel: Okay, well, we won that one.
Rachel: Yeah, and none of these stupid grocery questions, real personal questions.
Rachel: Fine! Well ask Phoebe.
Rachel: I know! I know, its such a huge, life-altering thing.
Rachel: Tails!
Rachel: Well take Literature!!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use youre head!
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Rachel: (shouting) Im sorry!
Rachel: Monica, I dont want to lose 200 dollars.
Rachel: Monica?!
Rachel: Okay, so lets play for some pepper! Stop spending my money!
Rachel: Oooohh thats interesting.
Rachel: Throw in the duck too!
Rachel: Well, he gets the other one all riled up.
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?
Rachel: All right, lets do it.
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Rachel: All right!
Rachel: 14?
Rachel: Space cowboy!
Rachel: Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
Rachel: He carries a briefcase.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, hes a transponcetranspondster!
Rachel: Oh my God.
Rachel: (entering from Chandlers bedroom, I guess, and sees the foosball table.) Oh my God! I cant believe you guys are actually think youre moving in here!
Rachel: Well I-I-Im not moving.
Rachel: No, it was a stupid bet! We were just playing a game!
Rachel: Noooo.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: I dont care, Im not going anywhere.
(Phoebe comes in from the bathroom as Rachel sits down in disgust.)
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
Rachel: How did it go?
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
Rachel: Yknow what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean!
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Rachel: Well it stupid, unfair question!
Rachel: Will you stop calling it your apartment!
Rachel: No its not!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
Rachel: Oh, I think I saw some in here.
Rachel: I dont know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, itll die.
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Rachel: Okay, that we may be able to do.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Rachel: Ohh!!
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Rachel: Oh yes.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Rachel: Yeah and you stretch em out with your big old clown feet.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! You are?
Monica: Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that youre packed.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Rachel: Thats right!
Monica: I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Rachel: Oh, good point.
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
[Phoebe and Rachel look uncomfortable.]
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
Rachel: No.
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Rachel: Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish.
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Yeah. (chuckling) A year ago..
Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is!
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Rachel: He got it a flea market!
RACHEL: Of course I clean it. I mean, I,I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it.
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Rachel: (reluctantly) Ok... O-k...
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: Hello! (Listens) Oh yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! (To Phoebe) It's Chandler.
Rachel: Oops, sorry. Listen, we-we have to have a party tonight! Actually, we have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Rachel: Here, kitty-kitty. Here kitty-kitty. Where did you go, little kitty-kitty-kitty? Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty...
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
Rachel: (imitating the receptionist's tone) through the glass doors.
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Rachel: So now what have we agreed?
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Rachel: And-and what else?
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Rachel: Really? Just casually strewn about in that reckless haphazard manner?
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Rachel: Yeahh, but, but those really go better with pants. Maybe I should wear pants?
Rachel: Wow! What did he say?
Rachel: Very good.
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!
Rachel: (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)
Ross: Rachel! What are you doing here?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real!
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Whatd you get?
Rachel: Oh.
Rachel: Really?
Rachel: Apartment pants?
Rachel: Jill?
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]