words in movies
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
RACHEL: Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.
RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
RACHEL AND MONICA: Yeah.
RACHEL: And she's not crazy?
RACHEL: Oh my God.
RACHEL: Not at all inappropriate!
RACHEL: Well, so what're you gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
RACHEL: No no no, wait, I wanna see what happens.
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
RACHEL: Oh, I know, I know. [Turns on the TV. Joey in on it.]
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
RACHEL: You're kidding.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, I'm ready.
RACHEL: OK.
RACHEL: Now just how big of a star is Marcel?
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
RACHEL: What what what what?
RACHEL: Ya think?
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
MONICA: Rachel, he like, totally changed time.
RACHEL: Wow, so why don't you go talk to him?
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
RACHEL: OK, I'm doin' it for ya.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
RACHEL: Excuse me. Hi.
RACHEL: Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute.
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
[back to Rachel and Monica]
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
RACHEL: He just kept asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
RACHEL: Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight. Thank you.
RACHEL: And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
RACHEL: Does anybody need anything?
RACHEL: That is so unfair.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
RACHEL: That is the most ridiculous.
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Ow. Ow. Ow.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
RACHEL: Oh that's what you want.
RACHEL: Fine.
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
RACHEL: No. [hitting each other]
RACHEL: No. [hitting again]
[Monica grabs Rachel by the sweater. Rachel squirms out of it]
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
RACHEL: OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater.
RACHEL: OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. [She grabs a jar of tomato sauce and Monica's purse]
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute.
[Monica pulls a thread on Rachel's sweater and Rachel dumps the tomato sauce in Monica's purse]
[Monica and Rachel start yelling at the same time]
RACHEL: I'll help you throw out your purse.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
RACHEL: OK, well, bye. [kisses him]
RACHEL: OK, well, bye-bye again. [kisses him again]
MONICA AND RACHEL: Oh, no no no no no.
MONICA AND RACHEL: No no no no.
RACHEL: Impressive.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Bye-bye.
RACHEL: Oh yeah.
Rachel: You can?
Rachel: Um-hmm.
Rachel: Okay.
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Rachel: (depressed) Hi.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: All right.
Rachel: Okay.
(Enter Rachel and Paolo. They are both somewhat flustered)
Rachel: Ow!
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Rachel: Oh, Ive got big Valentines plans! Ive got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Rachel: Yes, you didOh my God you didnt! (Screams) Well then why didnt you tell me that before?!
Rachel: Pheebs?
RACHEL: What'cha gonna' do?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Phoebe: Alrighty, here come the water works. (Rachel starts crying harder.)
Rachel: OhhDo you think he will?!
Rachel: Okay. (picks up phone) Are you sure you wanna hear this?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Rachel: Well, now, wait. Now Im all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me.
Rachel: Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
(Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.)
Rachel: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Mr. Zelner: Hello Rachel, you uh, got a minute?
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Rachel: Look, If I dont get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
RACHEL: Well, how did you find out?
Rachel: Yeah?
Rachel: Anyway, theres this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table, so I kinda have to go
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Rachel: You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door)
Rachel: (taking a bite) Hmmm!
Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.
Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh! No, not really.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
Rachel: Ill figure something out.
Rachel: (to the closed door) Hang in there. You hang in there. (Gives him the raspberry.)
Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. [she playfully rubs his head and gets up]
Rachel: Yeah, because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you!
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Rachel: Well, are we all together? Like in a group?
Big Nosed Rachel: Happy Thanksgiving!
[Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh]
Chandler: (To Rachel) Sounds like a fun party.
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and youre going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
Rachel: Oh my God! We are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever!
Rachel: Monica, what should I do?
Rachel: What?
Rachel: Youre bachelor pad?!
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Rachel: Oh, hi!
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
Rachel: Right
Rachel: Hi! All right, lets go shoppin!!
Rachel: Ross honey, this is very nice, but, but I-I got a crisis.
Monica: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Chandler: Oh, hello Rachel.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel: Well, look at that, same thing.
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
Rachel: Hi!
Rachel: Well, Ross said my name.
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
(He gets up and walks away as Rachel come running over all excited.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachels, theyre all there playing cards.]
Rachel: (she stops and turns) Hi!
Rachel: No well, no it's not that bad, y'know? I mean yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and these fingers sort of smell, I actually feel like I can throw up.
Rachel: Yeah. Im sorry.
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Rachel: No, youre not an idiot, Ross. Youre a guy very much in love.
Rachel: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Right!
Rachel: Good!
Rachel: Right!
Rachel: What? Wait, what?