words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Oh dont even ask!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving coffee as Mindy enters.]
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Rachel: Yeah, I forget which ones.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Rachel: (entering) Hey, guys, what's up.
Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
Rachel: Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Rachel: Did you just say Hi, Jew?
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.
Rachel: You were with Julie?
Rachel: What?!
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Oh. Oh my God.
Rachel: Yeah, right. Sure!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: I love you too. (They hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Rachel: Really? Me?
Rachel: Well, you're not totally paranoid.
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
RACHEL: "Oh, my, god."
RACHEL: We won. We won!
RACHEL: All right, bye-bye.
Rachel: Bye-bye-e!
RACHEL: How did this happen?
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
RACHEL: Ok, so let's talk money.
Rachel: Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name.
RACHEL: Have you ever seen so much crap?
RACHEL: Well, what about my stuff?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Lesile, Kiki, and Joanne are talking.]
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Good different?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
RACHEL: Ok, you win.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
(Rachel slips, loses her balance, and falls over the edge..)
Rachel: So? (She puts her hands in his, totally forgetting about the gloves, and hoping for something more intimate.)
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
RACHEL: Thank you.
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
RACHEL: It's really not that big!
Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)
Rachel: Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid.
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Rachel: I had a bra.
RACHEL: What!
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Rachel: You're not an artist.
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Sure.
Rachel: Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself!
Rachel: No. Not-not for me, but why dont you take off your sweater?
RACHEL: What? C'mon, talk to me.
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]
Rachel: Let's dry 'em again.
Rachel: Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine.
RACHEL: I'd wait.
Monica and Rachel: (Wistfully, shaking their heads) No.
RACHEL: What did, what did he say?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it!
Rachel: Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first yknow roommate bonding thing.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.