words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Rachel: What?!
Rachel: So?
Rachel: Oh, good point.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
(Rachel slowly walks away.)
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Rachel: What? They were like this!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Hey everybody, Rachel was so good today. She didn't gossip at all.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Rachel: (entering, singing) "Baddest man in the whole damn town."
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Rachel: Good luck, honey!
Phoebe: Bye! (She exits, leaving Rachel and Joey alone.)
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Do you know something?
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Rachel: Op! Youre peeping!
Rachel: No!
Phoebe: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
[Rachel enters]
[Phoebe walks over to talk to Rachel.]
Rachel: Well, I told him I would think about it, but Im gonna tell him no.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Rachel: (seeing his new table) Ohh! Oh my God!
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick
Rachel: Now that youre on youre own, youre free to look as stupid as you like.
Rachel: Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn’t love. Do you remember Barry?
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
Rachel: Okay...
Rachel: Yeah!
Rachel: Oh no. No Ross, dont do this.
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
[Ross and Rachel re-enter.]
Rachel: It sure is.
Rachel: Well?
Rachel: Really? How good?
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]
[Rachel reaches for Rosss plate]
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
[Phoebe comes back from Rachels old room.]
Rachel: Huh. Well, uh, thats uh, thats interesting. (She goes over and retrieves her note.)
[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing the national anthem.]
Rachel: Beef.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Rachel: Pheebs, Monica tripped me, I don't think I can ever run again, ever!
PHOEBE: All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.)� Hello?� Hi.� I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.
Rachel: Uh, Mon, you-you gonna leave your shoes out here?
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Rachel: Im talking about a bet, winner takes all.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
MONICA: Rachel, he like, totally changed time.
Rachel: Thats right!
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Rachel: Yeah.
RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me.
Rachel: Ive just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Rachel: Ha!
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.
RACHEL: Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
Nancy: Rachel we tried to quit, but it was too hard!
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh, this ones for me!
Rachel: �Mira, mira, el viejo desnudo est� haciendo el hula hoop! (Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula!)
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board.
Rachel: Yeah. Dont do this to yourself.
Steve: Hello, Monica. (to Rachel) Hello, greeter girl.
Rachel: I know.
Rachel: (entering) Hey, umm, do you guys have that tape measure?
Matthew Ashford: It was nice to meet you Rachel.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Guess!
Rachel: Ohh, yes.
Rachel: Almost.
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Hey! Were here!
Rachel: Uh, its from yore. Like the days of yore. Yknow?
Rachel: Oh no!
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Rachel: Hey!
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes at her desk while the mailman delivers her mail and calls Tag in.]
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Rachel: Okay, that we may be able to do.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Rachel: Ohh!!
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Rachel: Oh yes.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Rachel: Yeah and you stretch em out with your big old clown feet.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! You are?