words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country.
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Rachel: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
Rachel: (out of breath) Julie.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Rachel: Then, no.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Rachel: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night.
Rachel: Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Rachel: Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Rachel: Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.
Rachel: How is she?
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: I'm okay.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Rachel: You're welcome.
[Scene: Rachels office, shes there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.]
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
RACHEL: Oohhh.
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.)
Rachel: Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
Rachel: You know what? Ive been thinking about it. Im really coming around on the name Ruth. I think I would actually consider naming our child that.
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Rachel: Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here...
Rachel: Oh!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Rachel: Okay, youd tell me the truth. Right?
Rachel: Ohh I mean two best friends falling in love, how often does that happen?
Rachel: Oh, get out of here! (Jumps back and walks away.)
[scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch]
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: There, well, see? Barry wouldn't even kiss me on a miniature golf course.
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Rachel: I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain!
Rachel: Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]
Rachel: No, I have to go downstairs and come back up as if I'm coming home from the regatta gala. Okay? So just go distract him. But don't be sexy.
RACHEL: What, as part of your poor friends outreach program?
Rachel: For every night that youre asleep before I get home from work...
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just found out about Chloe and is screaming at Ross. The rest of the gang is trapped in Monica's bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey Rachel, funny thing. Actually, the ah, end zone starts at that pole, so youre five feet short, so we win!
Monica: (Reading) 'A Woman Undone, by Rachel Karen Green'.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
BEST MAN: What, (to Barry) you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. (gets a 'da-doom-chesh' from the drummer) Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel...
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
Rachel: (thinks) Yknow, I dont-I dont know. Let me, let me check. (As she heads for her office, she stops glances over her should at Tag, looks into her office, and finds the folder on her desk.)
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Rachel: (looking into one of her shopping bags) Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing.
Rachel: Ohh! Its so nice to meet you. (She goes over and shakes their hands.) Hello.
Rachel: (humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
Rachel: What-wh-what so well just stay married forever?!
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
[Rachel, in her bridesmaid dress, complete with hat, which makes her look like Little Bo Peep, and Ross enter]
Rachel: Seriously Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party.
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
RACHEL: OK, here we go. Honey, I'm sorry, they were all out of apple pie, someone just got the last piece.
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Ross: Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago.
Rachel: Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are about to go inside.]
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Rachel: Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?
Rachel: Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, you�re okay. I�m so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch.
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
Rachel: Okay. Its okay. Were gonna be okay. Yknow what? Its okay. Im gonna, Im gonna, Im gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!
Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Rachel: Oh we justwe drove each other crazy!
Rachel: Oh okay, Ill fix that to. Whats her e-mail address?
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Rachel: (sarcastic) No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad!
Rachel: Ross, I swear, I dont know.
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, its-its so, its so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Yknow, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Dont you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, dont you think?
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Rachel: Oh hell, hes done this three times! He knows what its about!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Rachel: Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear Rachel from the living room.]
Rachel: I mean its the end of an era!
Rachel: You are so just doing this out of spite.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Rachel: Okay, well, that's one less thing we have to do on Monday.
(Rachel enters the room and checks the answering machine)