words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country.
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Rachel: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
Rachel: (out of breath) Julie.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Rachel: Then, no.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Rachel: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night.
Rachel: Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Rachel: Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Rachel: Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.
Rachel: How is she?
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: I'm okay.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Rachel: You're welcome.
Rachel: Oh dont even ask!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving coffee as Mindy enters.]
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
Rachel: Yeah, I forget which ones.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Rachel: (entering) Hey, guys, what's up.
Rachel: You went shopping for fur?
Rachel: Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Rachel: Did you just say Hi, Jew?
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.
Rachel: You were with Julie?
Rachel: What?!
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
Rachel: Who?
Rachel: Oh. Oh my God.
Rachel: Yeah, right. Sure!
Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story...
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Ross: (entering) Well hey! Whats going on? Ooh, cool boat(Sees why the boats there)Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
Rachel: Yes.
Rachel: I love you too. (They hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Rachel: Really? Me?
Rachel: Well, you're not totally paranoid.
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
RACHEL: "Oh, my, god."
RACHEL: We won. We won!
RACHEL: All right, bye-bye.
Rachel: Bye-bye-e!
RACHEL: How did this happen?
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
RACHEL: Ok, so let's talk money.
Rachel: Ok I gotta tell ya, it's really weird when you use my whole name.
RACHEL: Have you ever seen so much crap?
RACHEL: Well, what about my stuff?
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Lesile, Kiki, and Joanne are talking.]
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
RACHEL: What?
Rachel: Good different?
Rachel: Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?
RACHEL: Ok, you win.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
(Rachel slips, loses her balance, and falls over the edge..)
Rachel: So? (She puts her hands in his, totally forgetting about the gloves, and hoping for something more intimate.)
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
RACHEL: Thank you.
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
RACHEL: It's really not that big!
Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)
Rachel: Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid.
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Rachel: I had a bra.
RACHEL: What!
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Rachel: You're not an artist.
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
RACHEL: Hey.
RACHEL: What?
RACHEL: Sure.
Rachel: Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself!
Rachel: No. Not-not for me, but why dont you take off your sweater?
RACHEL: What? C'mon, talk to me.
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]
Rachel: Let's dry 'em again.
Rachel: Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine.
RACHEL: I'd wait.
Monica and Rachel: (Wistfully, shaking their heads) No.
RACHEL: What did, what did he say?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Rachel: Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it!
Rachel: Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first yknow roommate bonding thing.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandlers shocked.) What? I read that.