words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country.
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Rachel: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
Rachel: (out of breath) Julie.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Rachel: Then, no.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Rachel: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night.
Rachel: Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Rachel: Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Rachel: Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.
Rachel: How is she?
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: I'm okay.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Rachel: You're welcome.
MONICA: Rachel, he like, totally changed time.
Rachel: Thats right!
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Rachel: Yeah.
RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me.
Rachel: Ive just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Rachel: Ha!
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.
RACHEL: Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
Nancy: Rachel we tried to quit, but it was too hard!
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Rachel: Oh, this ones for me!
Rachel: �Mira, mira, el viejo desnudo est� haciendo el hula hoop! (Look, look, Ugly Naked Guy is doing the hula!)
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board.
Rachel: Yeah. Dont do this to yourself.
Steve: Hello, Monica. (to Rachel) Hello, greeter girl.
Rachel: I know.
Rachel: (entering) Hey, umm, do you guys have that tape measure?
Matthew Ashford: It was nice to meet you Rachel.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You see what I mean.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Hey!
Rachel: Guess!
Rachel: Ohh, yes.
Rachel: Almost.
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Hey! Were here!
Rachel: Uh, its from yore. Like the days of yore. Yknow?
Rachel: Oh no!
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Rachel: Hey!
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes at her desk while the mailman delivers her mail and calls Tag in.]
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
Rachel: Okay, that we may be able to do.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Rachel: Ohh!!
Phoebe: I knew it! Because you love Rachel.
Rachel: Oh yes.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Rachel: Yeah and you stretch em out with your big old clown feet.
Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! You are?
Monica: Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that youre packed.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Rachel: Thats right!
Monica: I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Rachel: Oh, good point.
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Phoebe: Rachel.
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
[Phoebe and Rachel look uncomfortable.]
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
Chandler: Picking Rachel.
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
[Rachel and Ross go out in the hall]
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
Rachel: No.
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Rachel: Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish.
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Yeah. (chuckling) A year ago..
Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is!
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)