words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there]
Phoebe: (she enters) Hey...
Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!
Phoebe: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Phoebe: It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.
Phoebe: I would, but you're the last one.
Phoebe: Oh, my first love!
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Rachel: Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band?
Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Phoebe: Why, you don't like her?
Phoebe: Really? You think?
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters the room.]
Phoebe: Hi! Sorry, I'm late.
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
Phoebe: Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. (she flips the coin). Tails! Monica, she's yours!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters carrying the horrific 'painting' of Gladys. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
(While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey! (there's a pause)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Phoebe: I knew it!
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Phoebe: We won.
(They all glare evilly at Phoebe)
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Hey!
Ross: Phoebe, what happened?
Phoebe: Oh no!You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years!
Phoebe: ...teen! (throws in a ten-dollar bill)
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: But what?
Phoebe: Hee hee!
Monica: Listen Phoebe...
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
Phoebe: (pause) Ok, say no more.
[Time lapse: Phoebe in front of restaurant again]
Phoebe: Okay, fine, I�ll move. Alright, you don�t have to manhandle me. (gets up) Where? (he points at a smaller table) Okay. Thank you. Wach.
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
Phoebe: Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.
Phoebe: Don't tear it.
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe comes in)
Phoebe: My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?
Phoebe: Well...it's not about quality.
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
[Scene: In front of Monica's restaurant. Phoebe is playing]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Phoebe: I'm sorry too... (they hug)
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Phoebe: Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards the bathroom and enter)
Phoebe: It's all right. You can mourn.
Phoebe: What is it?
Phoebe: I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off!
Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)
Phoebe: Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition.
Monica: Phoebe, it's not about quantity.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is entering, Phoebe is already there.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Ah, ah.
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here?
Phoebe: Hey Ross!
Phoebe: Oh, What's the matter?
Phoebe: Ugh, okay Sherlock! (Hands over the key.)
Phoebe: Worse?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (The chick clucks.) You'll get your turn!
Phoebe: Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar.
Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!
Phoebe: Ok well give her a chance to see all of that!
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Phoebe: Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.
Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
[Scene: The theatre where Joey is auditioning. Phoebe enters when Joey's on stage and she sits down. He hasn't seen her.]
Phoebe: Promise?
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Well, do you care about friendship?
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
(Phoebe enters the hall)
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Receptionist: Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Phoebe: (watching around and whispering) Ok, are they listening?
Phoebe: I didnt know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Phoebe: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: Ja!
Phoebe: Okay, then I'm Swedish...
Phoebe: (Thinks for a few moments) Uhm... Stockholm.
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
Phoebe: You know it's me?
Phoebe: How can you come here?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
Phoebe: Oh, Ja! Ja!
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Phoebe: Ok.
Rachel: (now lifts her head) Phoebe!!
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?
[Scene: The Spa Reception. Phoebe walks in]
Receptionist: Good morning Phoebe.
Phoebe: It's a normal Swedish name... Ikea...
Phoebe: Exactly!
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
Phoebe: Ok, that'll be great!
Phoebe: Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.
Rachel: Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?