words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there]
Phoebe: (she enters) Hey...
Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!
Phoebe: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Phoebe: It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.
Phoebe: I would, but you're the last one.
Phoebe: Oh, my first love!
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Rachel: Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band?
Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Phoebe: Why, you don't like her?
Phoebe: Really? You think?
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters the room.]
Phoebe: Hi! Sorry, I'm late.
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
Phoebe: Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. (she flips the coin). Tails! Monica, she's yours!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters carrying the horrific 'painting' of Gladys. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
(While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey! (there's a pause)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Phoebe: I knew it!
Phoebe: (entering with Rachel) and I-I can't take it! Y'know? I'm just, always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other one. It's making me crazy.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Phoebe: Actually I said she abandoned me to write jingles.
Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas....
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Phoebe: Ohh, sleep with Kenny.
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Phoebe: Oh...Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand)
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing as Leslie enters.]
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card.
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
[Scene: The street right in front of Central Perk. Phoebe's cab is there. Ross and Phoebe run over and jump in.]
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Phoebe: I'm out of here (She leaves)
PHOEBE: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
Phoebe: And that horrible museum tour!
Phoebe: (nonchalantly glancing) Hey. (Turns back around.) Wow! (Looks up.) Well done.
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Phoebe: Im-Im just saying, dont freak out until youre a hundred percent sure.
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, um, I mean Frank senior.
Phoebe: My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!"
Phoebe: All right, it seems pretty simple. Your first line is "My name is Claude", so, just repeat after me. "Je m'appelle Claude".
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Phoebe: You didnt leave lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Ranion's theory of species variegation?
Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
Phoebe: Your middle name is Pamela?
PHOEBE: Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Phoebe: Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend.
Phoebe: Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! (Starts looking around for her) Monica? (Goes into Monica's bedroom.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: (stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
(Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
Phoebe: Okay, Seasons Greetings and everything, but still
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Phoebe: That's odd, 'cause this dog's been living here for the past 3 days
Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: I�m starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Im just taking it to be re-wired.
Phoebe: Uh Joey, were trying to dial down the crazy.
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Phoebe: Just one last time erm... the marriage thing... there's no wiggle room? None at all?
PHOEBE: I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again.
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
Phoebe: You guuuyys.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Phoebe: Its not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! Its a beautiful ring!
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
PHOEBE: (singing) Lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, as needed.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.
Phoebe: Huh. Okay, Mr. Perkazet.
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
Phoebe: Yknow it doesnt matter how much Im craving it. Yknow why Im never gonna eat meat? Because its murder, cold blooded murder.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.)
Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron.
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Phoebe and Rachel are deciding on tattoos.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]