words in movies
[Scene: Ross is in Central Perk. Phoebe comes in.]
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.
Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.
Phoebe: yea you know you are a bit of a drama queen.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Phoebe: Oh my god you're right.
Phoebe: I can't believe I never realized this before, I'm in my thirty's and never been in a long-term relationship oh my god (starts crying) what's wrong with me.
Phoebe: I wanna get married (grabs a tissue)
Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
Phoebe: nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)
Phoebe: uh huh (terns to Ross) how do I look (all her make up has gone everywhere)
Phoebe: (goes to cry) No
Phoebe: well it was awful every time I thought about what you said I started crying.
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Phoebe: well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Ross: oh no yeah, no Phoebe is great, but umm I'm an idiot look right before you guys went out I accidentally got her all upset.
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
Phoebe: It's open.
Phoebe: HEY! Mike called were going out again! YAY! YAY! (She dances around with happiness)
Phoebe: What? Wha-wha-wha-did you do ROSS!
Phoebe: WHAT!
Phoebe: WHAT! WHY?
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Phoebe: ok
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
Phoebe: .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Phoebe: I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: ok I can't do this.
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: so you don't think I'm a total freak
Phoebe: I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again (they get closer to kiss and Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers.
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Phoebe: Alright, well, maybe now its not okay.
Phoebe: So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up)
Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them!
Phoebe: Well, I never call me.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.]
Phoebe: Im just saying hi! Now Im gonna go!
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
PHOEBE: Ok, don't get me started on gravity.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
PHOEBE: Ahh. OK, let's see yours again.
Phoebe: Wh-why is that the best part?
PHOEBE: Come in.
PHOEBE: Hey Ryan, what's up?
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
PHOEBE: Ohh, ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: (checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.
PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: Give it.
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
PHOEBE: Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)
PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
PHOEBE: What?
PHOEBE: Oh.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
PHOEBE and RYAN: Bye. [waving]
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
PHOEBE: No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Phoebe: Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey?
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
PHOEBE: All right, stop it, you're freaking me out.
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
Phoebe: Wait. Why was he yelling at her? Hes the one who slept with someone else.
Phoebe: Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just kinda tidying.
PHOEBE: Bye, good luck.
Phoebe: Great! Okay, if youll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
Phoebe: so this guy was all (Mumbles.) And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. (Flashes the badge.) It was just so cool!
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Phoebe: Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
PHOEBE: Oh, my.
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, with the puppy, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Phoebe: All in good time my love. All in good time. Oh shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well you can let me in later.
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
PHOEBE: Everything you've heard is true.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
Phoebe: Hi Monica!
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful!
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, they are entering to check out the newly refurbished apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emilys Parents house.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there]
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, um-mm. Oh!
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
Phoebe: Alright. I looked all over the building and I couldn't find the kitty anywhere.
Phoebe: Where? (Turns to face him) Ooh, come to Momma.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Phoebe: Monica, do you want us to take you home?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.)
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.]
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
PHOEBE: Are you the cutest?
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]
[Scene: Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]