words in movies
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Phoebe: What?!!
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
Phoebe: Yeah, Professor and Mrs.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Phoebe: Just kidding!
Phoebe: (To Ross) Saved your ass.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Phoebe: Well, she told me that Im gonna die this week, so Im kinda bummed about that.
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Monica: Phoebe thats crazy!
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe enters to find Rachel still packing.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, yknow if you can.
(Phoebe goes and lies down as Rachel opens the drawer Monica hid the candlesticks in and as Monica walks out of her room.)
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Phoebe: Hey! Maybe youll die!
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.
Phoebe: No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
Phoebe: Because my psychic is dead! She mustve read the cards wrong!
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, lets bake cookies!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Phoebe: Have you really done this before?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Phoebe: It's like a gift.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Phoebe: Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
Phoebe: Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
Phoebe: Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Monica and Phoebe: Shut up!
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
[Cut to Phoebe in another part of the store.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel.
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Phoebe: (entering, with Gary) Hey!
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing.]
Phoebe: About what?
Phoebe: Well, he didn't tell me.
Phoebe: What surprise party?
Phoebe: Yeah, and theyve been coming by all day. They love it!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Phoebe: Okay, fine! Fine! (Takes the oyster and pretends to eat it while dropping it on the floor) Mmm hmmmmm .
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Oh? (Takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello you.
Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be?
Phoebe: Maybe we can like go to a movie or something.
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn�t get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Phoebe: Okay, Im sorry. Ill stop.
PHOEBE: Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh... Milwaukee.
Phoebe: Seriously, what-what's the part?
Phoebe: Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Phoebe: (smiling) You betcha!
Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if Im not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: Oh, that sucks!
Monica: (rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! (Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Phoebe: Thanks!
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid.
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Phoebe: What'd I say?
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Phoebe: Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? (Thinks of something) All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice!
Phoebe: Ooh! That's so nice...
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Phoebe: Hey.
Monica: Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh, can I come?
Phoebe: Big Bird's friend.
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
Phoebe: See, this is exactly what we do not have time for. (She rushes into her room)
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
RYAN: Hey baby, I'm back... [Phoebe is sitting by the window in a veil.]
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
Phoebe: All right, hold on! Okay, let's just all think.
Phoebe: Almost never.
[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]
Phoebe: You missed a belt loop.
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Phoebe: Well, if you don't know I can't help you.
Phoebe: I guess it was kinda funny.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes resting on the bed as Phoebe enters.]