words in movies
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Phoebe: Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt?
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh my God, she's so stupid!
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Phoebe: All rightOoh! Oh dead God, save me!
Phoebe: I'm having my first contraction!
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not bad.
Phoebe: Ooh, it's sympathy pains. Ohh, that's so sweet!
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Phoebe: No-no-no! We haven't started yet. Where's Alice?
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: It's very weird! I don't want some guy down there telling me, I'm y'know, dilatedamundo!
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
Phoebe: Hi! And you're going into what grade?
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Phoebe: Shh! Doogie, shh! Doesn't anybody understand that I'm gonna be having babies soon? Huh? Go! Go little boy, go!
[Scene: The delivery room, Dr. Harad is back and checking on Phoebe.]
Phoebe: They are. Why?
Phoebe: Happy birthday!
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Phoebe: I know, it is.
Phoebe: Can I tell you a little secret?
Phoebe: I want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)
Rachel: Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies!
Phoebe: Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know!
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Rachel: Phoebe, no! This is, this is insane.
Phoebe: Oh, just ask him!
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Phoebe: You're right.
(There's an awkward silence then suddenly Phoebe gets an idea.)
Phoebe: Tell him it's for you.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Phoebe: Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.
Phoebe: Undo it. Undo it. Undo it.
Phoebe: Hi!
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Phoebe: Okay, doctor says any minute now.
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Oh my God!
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Phoebe: I already had a baby. Leave me alone.
(Phoebe screams in pain, and Frank screams with her.)
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Phoebe: Which one do you have?
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Phoebe: Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone is hanging out with Phoebe. Frank, Alice, and the kids aren't there.]
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Phoebe: Works on you.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Ah!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.]
Phoebe: I was in charge of cups.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Phoebe: Rachel.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Phoebe: Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type.
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Phoebe: Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Phoebe: Okay.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Phoebe: Yeah, totally.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Phoebe: Who said you were?
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Phoebe: Really? Ive heard better.
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I kinda thought.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe: (giggles) Im pretty.
Phoebe: No thinking! No thinking! Tie or ascot?
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Phoebe: Of course, yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I like cards.
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Phoebe: What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Phoebe: Sorry Jill.
Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping!
Phoebe: I would love that job!
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Phoebe: Yknow? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Joey: Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Okay then.
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?