words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Phoebe: (smiles) Okay! (Goes to answer the phone.)
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!
Phoebe: Sure! Where is it?
Phoebe: Ohh! So you're 5639?!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
[Cut to Phoebe]
Phoebe: Who was that?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
[Cut to Phoebe]
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! (Starts looking around for her) Monica? (Goes into Monica's bedroom.)
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Phoebe: (saddened) It's okay. What the hell took you so long?
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: But again, Simmons. Go on.
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you guys lasted a whole year!
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Phoebe: On a totally different bet.
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too!
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, great story! I'm going!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?!
Phoebe: Of course you can take a couple days off work because this trip includes me!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked.
Phoebe: Naked alone time.
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Phoebe: So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London?
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Phoebe: Ah-ha! Okay, (takes out a notepad) Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back. (Gets up and heads aft.)
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Phoebe: Oh no. [The patented version.]
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Phoebe: Okay, London 1
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Monica: Phoebe, you don't eat animals.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Phoebe: Hey! Joey! (They all head over to him, he spots them coming and panics.) Hey! Hey!! Wow! (She hugs him.)
Phoebe: Why are you dressed as a gladiator?
Phoebe: So you're a gladiator! Wow!
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: Noo! But that would've been so cool!
Phoebe: I love Vegas!
[Scene: The casino bar, Phoebe and Monica are sitting at the bar, while Wayne Newton's signature song Danke Schoen is playing in the background.]
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Phoebe: Sure! (When Monica gets close to the door.) (Yelling) Yeah! Las Vegas, number one!
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
Phoebe: But she just came up here!
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Phoebe: (sees Ross and Rachel) Hey!
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
Phoebe: You guys are here! Yay!
Rachel: Hi! (Hugs Phoebe)
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Phoebe: Yeah! (Motions to her face, indicating all of Rachel's "make-up.")
Phoebe: Whoa, what kind of party was this?
(The old lady at Phoebe's machine wins. Phoebe turns around in shock.)
Phoebe: Ugh!
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Phoebe: M-M-Mole people?
Phoebe: Oh. What's a lurker?
Phoebe: Kills you?
Phoebe: Ohhh!
Phoebe: How do you know about this?
Phoebe: Dance karate?
[Scene: The casino, Phoebe is playing on a slot machine. Suddenly the lurker sticks her head around the aisle of slot machines.]
Phoebe: (seeing her) Get out of here you lurker! (She doesn't move) Go on! Get! (She throws a quarter at her.)
Phoebe: Ohh! You made up!
Phoebe: Ohh, get a room.
Phoebe: I know. Use it.
[Scene: The slot machines, Phoebe is still feeding quarters into the one-armed bandit as the lurker peeks over the top of the machines.]
Phoebe: Oh well, lost again. (She gets up and slowly moves away. The lurker scurries in and takes her spot, only this time Phoebe set a trap for her and catches her in the act.) That's it! You and me, outside!
(They start smacking each other's cups, but Phoebe notices a security guard approaching.)
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab!
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Phoebe: I won! I won! I finally won!
Phoebe: Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! (Gives back her quarter.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Is that true miss?
Phoebe: (quietly) Sells drugs to kids.
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks out.)
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
Phoebe: (starts to walk away, but stops) Dont try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Phoebe: Gunther, kiss me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Chandler is entering with his credit card and Phoebe is holding out another ring for him.]
Phoebe: Yes, but I'm doing this.
Monica: Oh, I can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party.
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Phoebe: Mon! I'm so happy for you!
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Phoebe: Yes. Did you settle the bill?
Bitsy: Michael, a pimp spit in her mouth! (Phoebe almost enters the room, but she hears the discussion and waits and evesdrops next to the door-opening.)
Phoebe: Oh, all right. Oh! Look what we almost took!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, your microwave. The stereo.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
Monica: Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.
Phoebe: She seems fine now.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Phoebe: (at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!
Phoebe: I just feel so, uhh.....
Phoebe: Here. (gives him a fire extinguisher) Y'know, just in case.
Phoebe: Hey!-Hey! Whats going on?
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Phoebe: Oh no, let her stay out there. Its sweet.
PHOEBE: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
Phoebe: Well not clients, lovers. But lets just yknow, try it again. Come back and-and well work through it.
Phoebe: Uh... yay!
Phoebe: Yeah. Hard Ass and Wuss. We could fight crime!
Phoebe: Okay!
RACH: Phoebe, what the hell are you talking about? Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.
Phoebe: Wow! Could everyone totally see up his robe?
Phoebe: Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse?
Phoebe: Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, thats right, the keyboards, huh?
Phoebe: I wanna hear "The Sound."
Phoebe: Come on, give me something. What's his name?
Phoebe: Wow, it was sowow!
Phoebe: Well then definately dont take his name.
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
Phoebe: Y'know what, I can stay, Im gonna stay. Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
PHOEBE: So how long have you known?
Phoebe: And this time, theyve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Phoebe: Yeah, in the back. You want a quarter?
Rachel: Yeah, Phoebe youre awful!
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
Monica: Okay. Umm, Phoebe, you suck too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey! You were really great! You were really, really great!
Phoebe: (looks at her cards) Yes! (everyone looks at her) .... or no.
Phoebe: Well, kinda. Yeah. Yeah.
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
Phoebe: Does Joey know?
Phoebe: I think maybe, yeah.
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
[Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
Phoebe: After that? Yeah! No, I mean if I can help.
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Phoebe: Ohh.
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
Phoebe: Honey, youve got to go. Whats his office number?
Phoebe: Ooh, God it looks bad.
Phoebe: God, what happened?!
Phoebe: Open it up, let me see.
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm a hard ass.
Phoebe: Fine! Fine! (slams the phone down, breaking it) Oh-oh!
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
Chandler: Ladies, ladies, lets just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monicas bra.
(A player comes over and picks up a ball in front of Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay. No. But thanks.
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea.
Phoebe: Oh, there they are!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Phoebe: Okay!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
PHOEBE: Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks.