words in movies
[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh, have a great wedding!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Oh. Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, no. Oh, nothing.
Phoebe: Okay, I have a wedgie.
Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?
Phoebe: Yeah, I do. Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Phoebe: We thought you knew!
Phoebe: Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time!
Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesnt know anything.
Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! Its so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?
Phoebe: Well, I think I can help you get over him.
Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.
Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Phoebe: Okay?
Phoebe: So uh, now look at the picture
Phoebe: All right, and umm (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)
Phoebe: Okay, how do you feel now?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Phoebe: Hello.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Phoebe: So youre not homesick yet?
Phoebe: All right, the seven of us miss you.
Phoebe: Yknow, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guys here!
Phoebe: Yeah. But yknow we were thinking about you, yknow we ordered the Joey Special.
Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Yeah, its in the guys apartment under the sink. Why?
Phoebe: What?! What do you mean youre going to London?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Phoebe: Thats not why youre going! Youre going because you hope hes gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
Phoebe: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emilys Parents house.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Phoebe: Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I could kick her ass.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
Phoebe: Yeah, um, I cant fly. Im having my brothers babies.
Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? Its very very important.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay, Im going to have to kick her ass too.
Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Phoebe: I dont want to hear about her!!
Phoebe: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachels coming to London.
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
Phoebe: All right, so, okay...
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Phoebe: So tell me about this girl?
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?
Phoebe: So nothing got ruined?
Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so whats going on now?
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Ah!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.]
Phoebe: I was in charge of cups.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Phoebe: Rachel.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Phoebe: Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type.
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Phoebe: Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Phoebe: Okay.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Phoebe: Yeah, totally.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Phoebe: Who said you were?
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Phoebe: Really? Ive heard better.
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I kinda thought.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe: (giggles) Im pretty.
Phoebe: No thinking! No thinking! Tie or ascot?
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Phoebe: Of course, yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I like cards.
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Phoebe: What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Phoebe: Sorry Jill.
Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping!
Phoebe: I would love that job!
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Phoebe: Yknow? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Joey: Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]