words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
Gary: (To Phoebe) Would you like some more coffee, baby-doll?
Phoebe: I'm fine, thanks.
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Nope. (Chandler nods in agreement.)
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
Gary: (To Phoebe) I'll see you after work sweetie. (Kisses her.)
Phoebe: Okay. Bye!
Phoebe: So, what movie should we see?
Phoebe: What?! Really?!
Phoebe: I can't believe this!
Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is drinking coffee as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Hmm, did you talk to Gary about the moving in thing?
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
Phoebe: Ohh!! God! (Gary enters and she sees him) Ooh! (To Chandler) Get out of here, good for nothing.
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay. (They move to the couch.)
Phoebe: Thanks! Okay. (They sit down.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: No that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're just staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this. (She stays still for a brief second.)
Gary: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.
Phoebe: I justI don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.
Phoebe: I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm justI'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
Phoebe: Which is why my answer is yes!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so happy. (She's not happy.)
Phoebe and Gary: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay!
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!
Phoebe: Okay, yeah, I'll see you later! Don't forget about the moving in!
(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Phoebe: No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they?
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out.
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: No, nothing.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
Gary: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing. (Pause) Can I get some water?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah! Today's.
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Gary: Phoebe
Phoebe: Yeah?
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Phoebe: That's so sweet.
Phoebe: Living with you would make me happy.
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
Phoebe: No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you!
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
Phoebe: We could have breakfast in bed
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh good, you're all up.
Rachel: Phoebe! It's 6 o'clock in the morning! Why aren't you at Gary's?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, that's over.
Phoebe: He shot a bird!
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright.
Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, wanna get some breakfast?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Phoebe: You didnt leave lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Ranion's theory of species variegation?
Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
Phoebe: Your middle name is Pamela?
PHOEBE: Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Phoebe: Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend.
Phoebe: Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! (Starts looking around for her) Monica? (Goes into Monica's bedroom.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: (stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
(Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
Phoebe: Okay, Seasons Greetings and everything, but still
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Phoebe: That's odd, 'cause this dog's been living here for the past 3 days
Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: I�m starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Im just taking it to be re-wired.
Phoebe: Uh Joey, were trying to dial down the crazy.
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Phoebe: Just one last time erm... the marriage thing... there's no wiggle room? None at all?
PHOEBE: I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again.
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
Phoebe: You guuuyys.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Phoebe: Its not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! Its a beautiful ring!
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
PHOEBE: (singing) Lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, and lather, rinse, repeat, as needed.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.
Phoebe: Huh. Okay, Mr. Perkazet.
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
Phoebe: Yknow it doesnt matter how much Im craving it. Yknow why Im never gonna eat meat? Because its murder, cold blooded murder.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.)
Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron.
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Phoebe and Rachel are deciding on tattoos.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
PHOEBE: Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests.
Phoebe: Well, she told me that Im gonna die this week, so Im kinda bummed about that.
Phoebe: I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Rachel: Uh-hmm. Im just thinking about Phoebe; poor knocked up Phoebe.
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
Phoebe: Ohh, yeah. I think his exact words were (She makes two clicking sounds with her tongue and purrs.)
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
(They both look at each other, then Phoebe gets an idea.)
Monica: Okay, I feel like Im talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. (they hug)
Ross: Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? Its Rachels tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.
Phoebe: All right fine! This looks like so much fun. (Examining the bowl of wet paper towels.)
Phoebe: Isnt there a national football league.
Roy: Damnit. OH! (To Phoebe) Big surprise! The hunk of beef has feelings!
Chandler: Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?
(Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked)
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Phoebe: Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy.
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
PHOEBE: Oh God.� Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
Phoebe: But you were going to propose?
Phoebe: What about her whining and her constant need for attention?!
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Phoebe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong.
Ross: What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from PhoebeOoh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! (Gets them.)