words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do.
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other people
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Phoebe: Isnt it at three?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Phoebe: What? Hes gonna be dressed as a baby! (Mrs. Green enters.) Oh hi Mrs. Green!
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bother you?
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Phoebe: Okay, come on Rach its present time! Yknow youre the glue thats holding this whole party together. Its kinda falling apart here.
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
Phoebe: No, not a thing.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: You should be!
Phoebe: You got it!
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
[Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler exchange money again.]
Phoebe: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Phoebe: What am I gonna do?! What am I gonna do?! I cant call my office theyll kill me! I cant call my clients theyll kill themselves! Great, now my chest hearts.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
PHOEBE: That's him.
MR A: Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Um, do you wanna sit?
PHOEBE: Everything?
Phoebe: Oh! You got it?!
Joey: (sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a "yeah, yeah, yeah" way.)
Phoebe: Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
PHOEBE: Sir! No sir!
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
PHOEBE: No, no, no. I'm sorry. It's "smelly cat, smel-ly cat".
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
PHOEBE: I miss Rose.
PHOEBE: Ok, that's so nice.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in.
PHOEBE: Yeah, me, too, technically.
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Phoebe: I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm justI'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
PHOEBE: Oh, wow.
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike enter]
PHOEBE: I know.
[Phoebe pulls out her guitar]
Phoebe: I dont want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.
Phoebe: But hes falling in love with her.
ALL: Hi Phoebe.
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yeah. And, first heres a gift.
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
Phoebe: Oh. Uh, I'm on. (picks up the phone)
PHOEBE: But.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
PHOEBE: Yay, I rock.
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is singing.]
PHOEBE: I can do that.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
ALL: Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: OK, hi again.
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
(Phoebe desperately tries to find the scripted response to that line.)
PHOEBE: I see.
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
PHOEBE: Fired! Why?
PHOEBE: Who's Barney.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, I'm ready.
Phoebe: Oh no. [The patented version.]
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
Phoebe: I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
Phoebe: But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...
[Scene: Monicas Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.]
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
Phoebe: The little jail between the doors!
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
Chandler: Nope! Because Im not your boyfriend. (to Phoebe, whos entering) Hey Pheebs, how did it go?
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
Chandler: All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
PHOEBE: (singing angrily) Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk!
Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldnt give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
Phoebe: (Smiling blankly) Right, and its me.
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?