words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Phoebe: Joeys!
Phoebe: (laughs) Yeah, Im sure that happened.
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Phoebe: Okay! I justI didnt know that you are a lesbian. (Joey smiles and nods lewdly.)
Phoebe: Okay, it just seems pretty wild and youre soyknow so vanilla.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: To Ross.
Phoebe: Okay! All right! Yeah! Cause I just cant picture it.
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Melissa: Hmm Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority?
Phoebe: Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
Rachel: (changing the subject) Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out.
Phoebe: Really?!
Phoebe: Oh, somewhere Joeys head is exploding.
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Rachel: Thank you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I know.
[Scene: Outside the restaurant, Melissa, Phoebe, and Rachel are emerging.]
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
Melissa: (laughs) Oh you dont have to be (Laughs again) sorry. Im Im obviously kidding. Im not in love with you. (To Phoebe) Im not in love with her. I dont hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I dont picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
Phoebe: I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Phoebe: Ive had better.
Phoebe: Ooh, honey. You stink at lying.
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Phoebe: He has brown hair.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Phoebe: Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it.
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe and Parker enter)
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is
Phoebe: Sure, what.. what was the work thing?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Phoebe: Were you guys making fun of Parker?
Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"?
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Phoebe: Why dont you just try one?
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: Hm huh, yeah.
(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Phoebe: There's no dog in here.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
Phoebe: You think?
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh thank God.
Phoebe: Lets try something else, lets play a game.
Phoebe: Much less happy!
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Phoebe: Uh huh. (Closes door)
Phoebe: You dont have to put a good spin on everything.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: Oh. Finally! Oh. (Sits back in relief.)
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
PHOEBE: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Phoebe: Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!
Phoebe: Umm, Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: Ohh, tough call.
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?