words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
Phoebe: Coming through! (Has to dodge a fireman) Oh! Coming through! (Sees a cute one.) Oh! Hello! Hi! (Smiles then realizes) No! Right! Coming through!
Phoebe: Oh!
(Phoebe and Rachel return)
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
Phoebe: So did you sleep well last night?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Phoebe: Gum!
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
Phoebe: I dont use a curling iron.
(Phoebe looks at Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is reading and Monica runs over and turns on the lamp behind Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Thanks Monica!
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Phoebe: Okay.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Phoebe: Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
[Scene: Hotel Monica, Phoebe is on the bed playing her guitar as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Well, not much has changed in the last five minutes.
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Phoebe: Okay. (Reaches for one.)
Phoebe: (gritting her teeth) Okay, Ill be out in a second.
(Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Hi!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Phoebe: Yeah she said something about crumbies.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Phoebe: No but at Monicas you can eat cookies over the sink!
Phoebe: All right fine! This looks like so much fun. (Examining the bowl of wet paper towels.)
Phoebe: God, what a mess. (She grabs the bowl and heads for Monicas.)
Phoebe: Rachel?
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
[Phoebe walks over to talk to Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! (Phoebe covers her mouth with her hand walks away from the window.)
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Phoebe: But why didnt you just tell her the truth.
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Phoebe: I know, it is.
(Phoebe looks horrified and she turns to watch Joey)
Phoebe: Hmm, yknow theres another word for people like that. Losers!
Phoebe: I cant have any. You know I dont eat meat. (Faking dissapointment.) Ohhh no.
Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
Phoebe: No, don't-don't say I'm sorry with porn!
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
Phoebe: Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?
[Phoebe comes back from Rachels old room.]
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay. (They move to the couch.)
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
PHOEBE: All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.)� Hello?� Hi.� I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Phoebe: But we have to!
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Phoebe: You can still sleep at night and stuff.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Phoebe: Ooh, whos it for?
Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: (lying down on a mattress) Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.
Phoebe: Hey! Look who I found!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Phoebe: Oh, this ones for Chandler. Here.
PHOEBE: So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that (points at the computer screen).
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel at counter, Phoebe, Chandler, and Fun Bobby at the couch.]
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Phoebe: Im going to let him.
Phoebe: Yeah well, well see.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Monica: Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Rachel: Phoebe hates Pottery Barn?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, we should get a move on if we wanna make those dinner reservations. (Phoebe dumps a drawer full of makeup into a box.)
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: How much was it?
Phoebe: Oh, I want to look too! (She runs over and sits down and checks out a picture). Yikes!
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Ah!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)