words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters carrying a drum.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: (not amused) Ha-ha. (She sits down on the couch.) No, its just Im so pregnant that Imy guitar doesnt fit anymore. So I thought til Im not, Im just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool!
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Alice: (entering) Phoebe! Phoebe! Hi! Hi!
Phoebe: Hey! What are you doing here?
Phoebe: Oh, well, dont tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus.
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Phoebe: Wow! Thats so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Phoebe: No, Im-Im not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with "The."
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
Phoebe: No! No! I-I meant for the baby!
Phoebe: Well, its just yknow that something like this would never to like The Hulk, yknow
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Phoebe: All right, so, what are we supposed to call you?
Phoebe: Umm, Gene.
Phoebe: Bye, Gene.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe and Monica of her date.]
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Phoebe: Wow, Carol really messed you up!
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until 92-93 he was very trusting, then 94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!
Phoebe: Yeah. The 92 Ross wouldnt.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Phoebe: Drum roll.
Phoebe: Youre actually going through with this?
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you have to keep the name too!
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Yayohyay! Okay, I gotta go tell Frank and Alice! Right now!
Phoebe: Ooh, uh (She grabs her coat and runs out.)
Phoebe: Okay, bye!
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Phoebe: Rachel?
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
[Phoebe walks over to talk to Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! (Phoebe covers her mouth with her hand walks away from the window.)
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Phoebe: But why didnt you just tell her the truth.
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Phoebe: I know, it is.
(Phoebe looks horrified and she turns to watch Joey)
Phoebe: Hmm, yknow theres another word for people like that. Losers!
Phoebe: I cant have any. You know I dont eat meat. (Faking dissapointment.) Ohhh no.
Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
Phoebe: No, don't-don't say I'm sorry with porn!
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
Phoebe: Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?
[Phoebe comes back from Rachels old room.]
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Phoebe: So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay. (They move to the couch.)
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
PHOEBE: All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.)� Hello?� Hi.� I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Phoebe: Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Phoebe: But we have to!
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Phoebe: You can still sleep at night and stuff.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Phoebe: Ooh, whos it for?
Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: (lying down on a mattress) Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.
Phoebe: Hey! Look who I found!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Phoebe: Oh, this ones for Chandler. Here.
PHOEBE: So how's your date with your cyberchick going. Ooh, hey, what is all that (points at the computer screen).
Phoebe: Yeah she said something about crumbies.
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel at counter, Phoebe, Chandler, and Fun Bobby at the couch.]
Phoebe: Ohhh. Thanks Chandler they're great!
Phoebe: Im going to let him.
Phoebe: Yeah well, well see.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Monica: Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Rachel: Phoebe hates Pottery Barn?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, we should get a move on if we wanna make those dinner reservations. (Phoebe dumps a drawer full of makeup into a box.)
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: How much was it?
Phoebe: Oh, I want to look too! (She runs over and sits down and checks out a picture). Yikes!
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Ah!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)