words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Phoebe: Okay. (Looks at the leaves.) Ooh, I see a ladder. (Checks the book) Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Phoebe: Oh! (Checking the book) Which can either mean youre having a baby or youre gonna make a scientific discovery!
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Monica: Tea gives Phoebe the trots.
[Scene: A newsstand, Phoebe is looking at a magazine as the guy from before walks by and picks up a newspaper.]
Phoebe: Oh hello.
Phoebe: Oh Jim, Jim Nelson Im Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Phoebe: Well, maybe we will. (Starts to walk away.) Oh! (She turns around and the exchange information.)
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Oh, witty banter. Well done.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Monica: Dont worry Phoebe, youre gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Phoebe: Oh, you didnt have to come in with me.
Phoebe: Okay.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Phoebe: (looking around) She mustve left.
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Phoebe: Feel better?
Phoebe: Hey! New wallet, huh?
[Cut to Monica and Phoebe searching the basement.]
Phoebe: That play?
Phoebe: What are they?
Phoebe: Ohh!
Phoebe: The movie?
Phoebe: Yes! Very good.
Phoebe: Congratulations!
Phoebe: Go ahead.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
(Phoebe and Rachel walk up.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Fine! (She takes the blanket.) But please God; tell me how to stop them from going off!
Phoebe: Oh. Yknow, he hums while he does other stuff to.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Phoebe: Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Rachel: Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Phoebe: Okay. Well theres one down.
Phoebe: Oh man.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Phoebe: Youre in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
(Phoebe reaches into the trash can, pulls one out, and hands it to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Phoebe: Oh heres a whole bunch.
Phoebe: Right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are opening their invitations.]
Phoebe: No, I mean, I mean, when you're at the fifteenth date, y'know, you're already in a very relationshippy place. Y'know, it's... you're committed.
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this.
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
Phoebe: Okay. Im going with you.
Phoebe: All right. Good luck.
Phoebe: Why not?!
Phoebe: What the hell are you doing?!
Phoebe: Rachel, calm down!
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)
Phoebe: Yeah!
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Ross: Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is entering and arguing baseball with Erin. Phoebe and Rachel are already there.]
Phoebe: (Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Phoebe: Hey! Oh!
PHOEBE: Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution?
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Phoebe: You know?!
Phoebe and Ross: Cigarettes?!!
Phoebe: Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!
(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh and theyre gonna have a baby.
Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy was really cute.
Chandler: Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash.
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.)
Phoebe: Okay, but you cannot tell him... but look whose back!
Phoebe: Oh, thank you! Oh... Oh my God, you're RICH!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are talking.]
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
Phoebe: Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in) HELLO!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Rachel: Hey look-look, Phoebes talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
Phoebe: Ooh, Soap Opera Digest!
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Phoebe: Ive had better.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
Phoebe: No! No, the robots just work for them.
Phoebe: (singing) Rossss can!
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Phoebe: What do I smell?
Phoebe: What do I smell?
Phoebe: What do I smell?
Phoebe: What do I smell?
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Phoebe: Holy crap!
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a cheater!
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Oh, try and stop me!