words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Phoebe: Okay. (Looks at the leaves.) Ooh, I see a ladder. (Checks the book) Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Phoebe: Oh! (Checking the book) Which can either mean youre having a baby or youre gonna make a scientific discovery!
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Monica: Tea gives Phoebe the trots.
[Scene: A newsstand, Phoebe is looking at a magazine as the guy from before walks by and picks up a newspaper.]
Phoebe: Oh hello.
Phoebe: Oh Jim, Jim Nelson Im Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Phoebe: Well, maybe we will. (Starts to walk away.) Oh! (She turns around and the exchange information.)
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Oh, witty banter. Well done.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Monica: Dont worry Phoebe, youre gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Phoebe: Oh, you didnt have to come in with me.
Phoebe: Okay.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Phoebe: (looking around) She mustve left.
Phoebe: Ooh, honey. You stink at lying.
Phoebe: No, were gonna paint over the sword, and replace it with a baguette.
Phoebe: He has brown hair.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
Phoebe: Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it.
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe and Parker enter)
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is
Phoebe: Sure, what.. what was the work thing?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Phoebe: So, he a little enthusiastic, whats wrong with that?
Phoebe: Were you guys making fun of Parker?
Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"?
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Phoebe: Why dont you just try one?
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: Hm huh, yeah.
(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)
Phoebe: No, thats not necessary.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Phoebe: There's no dog in here.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
Phoebe: You think?
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Phoebe: Yeah well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Years Eve 1997.
[Scene: Phoebes apartment, Parker and her are entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh thank God.
Phoebe: Lets try something else, lets play a game.
Phoebe: Much less happy!
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Phoebe: Uh huh. (Closes door)
Phoebe: You dont have to put a good spin on everything.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: Oh. Finally! Oh. (Sits back in relief.)
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
PHOEBE: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.
Phoebe: Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!
Phoebe: Umm, Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: Ohh, tough call.
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Phoebe: Isnt it at three?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Phoebe: Im not writing about you! Im writing about other people.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)