words in movies
PHOEBE: [looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it] Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
PHOEBE: Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge.
PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
PHOEBE: I'm done now.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
[Scene: Recording studio. Phoebe is getting ready to record Smelly Cat.]
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
PHOEBE: Oh OK. So, um, the cat stinks but you love it, let's go.
PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
PHOEBE: Oh my God.
PHOEBE: I sound amazing. I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear.
PHOEBE: Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented.
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
PHOEBE: Yes.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is performing Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
PHOEBE: Monica.
PHOEBE: Chandler.
PHOEBE: Rachel.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Phoebe: Feel better?
Phoebe: Hey! New wallet, huh?
[Cut to Monica and Phoebe searching the basement.]
Phoebe: That play?
Phoebe: What are they?
Phoebe: Ohh!
Phoebe: The movie?
Phoebe: Yes! Very good.
Phoebe: Congratulations!
Phoebe: Go ahead.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
(Phoebe and Rachel walk up.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Fine! (She takes the blanket.) But please God; tell me how to stop them from going off!
Phoebe: Oh. Yknow, he hums while he does other stuff to.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Phoebe: Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Rachel: Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Phoebe: Okay. Well theres one down.
Phoebe: Oh man.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Phoebe: Youre in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
(Phoebe reaches into the trash can, pulls one out, and hands it to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Phoebe: Oh heres a whole bunch.
Phoebe: Right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are opening their invitations.]
Phoebe: No, I mean, I mean, when you're at the fifteenth date, y'know, you're already in a very relationshippy place. Y'know, it's... you're committed.
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this.
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
Phoebe: Okay. Im going with you.
Phoebe: All right. Good luck.
Phoebe: Why not?!
Phoebe: What the hell are you doing?!
Phoebe: Rachel, calm down!
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)
Phoebe: Yeah!
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Ross: Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is entering and arguing baseball with Erin. Phoebe and Rachel are already there.]
Phoebe: (Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Phoebe: Hey! Oh!
PHOEBE: Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution?
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Phoebe: You know?!
Phoebe and Ross: Cigarettes?!!
Phoebe: Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!
(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh and theyre gonna have a baby.
Phoebe: You know, the asthma guy was really cute.
Chandler: Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash.
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.)
Phoebe: Okay, but you cannot tell him... but look whose back!
Phoebe: Oh, thank you! Oh... Oh my God, you're RICH!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are talking.]
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
Phoebe: Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in) HELLO!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Rachel: Hey look-look, Phoebes talking to uh, Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
Phoebe: Ooh, Soap Opera Digest!
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Phoebe: Ive had better.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
Phoebe: No! No, the robots just work for them.
Phoebe: (singing) Rossss can!
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Phoebe: What do I smell?
Phoebe: What do I smell?
Phoebe: What do I smell?
Phoebe: What do I smell?
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Phoebe: Holy crap!
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a cheater!
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
Phoebe: Oh, try and stop me!