words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Phoebe: Morning.
Phoebe: What's that?
Phoebe: It's a baby chick and duck!
Phoebe: I did not see that coming.
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: That is the rule, though.
Phoebe: Guess what? You're almost an uncle!
Phoebe: Yeah, and I have a definite feeling it's gonna be a girl.
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?
Phoebe: But do you wanna get back together?
Phoebe: (screaming) YAY!
Phoebe: (quietly) Yay!
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Phoebe: Guess we'll never know how it ends.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?
Phoebe: Wow, eight hour flight with a one-year old? Good luck, mom.
Phoebe: Unbelievable!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night.
Phoebe: Uh, Joe?
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
Phoebe: Hey! What do you have there?
Phoebe: Honey, that's gorgeous!
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, tell me which one, and I'll try slip it in my coat.
Phoebe: One? How about a whole bunch?
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Phoebe: So, you just let her go?
Phoebe: But now she'll never know how he feels!
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
(Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: Woo!
Phoebe: Wait, wait! Get your coat! Get your coat!
Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport.
Phoebe: Hurry!
(Phoebe and Ross leave.)
[Scene: The street right in front of Central Perk. Phoebe's cab is there. Ross and Phoebe run over and jump in.]
Phoebe: That's okay. If - if we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car.
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: I - I don't take passengers.
Phoebe: My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!"
Phoebe: Get out of the cab!
(The man jumps out, obviously a little scared. Phoebe drives off.)
[Scene: Phoebe's cab. Phoebe is driving very fast, and a terrified Ross has closed his eyes.]
Phoebe: You can open your eyes now.
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Yes, she jumped right back up.
Ross: Oh my God, Phoebe, slow down!
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Phoebe: You should have thought of that before you got in!
Phoebe: Toll-booth.
Phoebe: (screaming) Toll-booth! Four bucks. There are quarters in the glove compartment.
Phoebe: Hurry!
Phoebe: Okay.
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
Phoebe: Damn, that window is clean.
[Scene: The airport. Ross and Phoebe run in.]
Phoebe: Ross, where are you going?
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
Phoebe: You have to get a ticket to get past security.
Phoebe: Not with that attitude! Now, haul ass!
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe come running.]
Phoebe: Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?
Phoebe: We're on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: I'm so lucky I married you.
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Phoebe: No, did we miss it?
Phoebe: Maybe we have the flight-number wrong. God.
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Phoebe: Hey, it's me. Here's Ross.
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Ross: Phoebe! Wow! No, no, no!
(Phoebe screams.)
Phoebe: Well, I've never gone this fast before.
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
Phoebe: She's got her cell, you could call her.
Phoebe: You don't have any other choice!
Phoebe: Rachel? Oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
Phoebe: Uh, Rach, hang on.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Rachel: Phoebe? Is everything okay?
Phoebe: Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane.
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
Phoebe: I don't see her.
Phoebe: There she is!
Phoebe: (screaming) RACHEL!!
Phoebe: Okay, you're on.
Phoebe: I'm sorry.
(Phoebe hugs Ross.)
(He hugs her. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway.
Phoebe: He went home. He didn't want to see anybody.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Phoebe: Hey, do you realise that at one time or another we all lived in this apartment?
Phoebe: So, I guess this is it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are doing dishes as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!
Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab.
[Sequence 5: Monica hands the ball off to Phoebe, who runs up field and delivers a fore-arm shiver to Chandler, knocking him over and scores the touchdown, and she yells...]
Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) Its just so unexpected! I I uh Boy Ill tell you its just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and yknow to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
PHOEBE: OK Rach, which, which lily? This lily or that lily?
(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
(The girls are unsure how to pair off. Phoebe settles it)
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Phoebe: Radiator.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.
Phoebe: Hey listen let me ask you, do you believe in soul mates?
Ross: (picking up the slip of paper) Hello! What's this? Oh right its that girl's phone number. (Rachel ignores him) Yeah-yeah, there it is, just a phone number a really hot girl gave me. (He holds it so that Rachel can see it, she continues to ignore him) It's no big deal, I mean it is her home phone number, but...(Rachel still ignores him) Whoa! (Throws it in her lap) Whoa-whoops, I almost lost this baby! Yeah, the lovely Amanda gives me her number and I-I go and drop it. (He waves it in front of Rachel's face. Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze and Rachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into.)
(While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Ooh!
Phoebe: Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Phoebe: Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)
Phoebe: Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah.
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize (goes to the hall and comes back with Emma's trophy in her hand). Here! (gives it to Monica).
Phoebe: Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless.
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Goodnight.
[Scene: The Theatre, at the post premiere party. The gang is already there, except Phoebe. Joey runs in.]
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, fun! Okay... um, Liam Neeson.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are "updating" Joey's resumé.]
Phoebe: I've already stuffed a bunch of Brussel sprouts down his pants.
Phoebe: But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk.
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Phoebe: (entering with Rachel) and I-I can't take it! Y'know? I'm just, always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other one. It's making me crazy.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Phoebe: Actually I said she abandoned me to write jingles.
Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas....
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
Frank Sr.: Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I dont, I dont know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
Phoebe: Ohh, sleep with Kenny.
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Phoebe: Oh...Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand)
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing as Leslie enters.]
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card.
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Phoebe: I'm out of here (She leaves)
PHOEBE: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
Phoebe: And that horrible museum tour!
Phoebe: (nonchalantly glancing) Hey. (Turns back around.) Wow! (Looks up.) Well done.
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Phoebe: Im-Im just saying, dont freak out until youre a hundred percent sure.
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, um, I mean Frank senior.
Phoebe: All right, it seems pretty simple. Your first line is "My name is Claude", so, just repeat after me. "Je m'appelle Claude".
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
[Cut to someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in. The cat then runs over to Phoebes guitar case and starts sniffing around.]
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Phoebe: You didnt leave lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Ranion's theory of species variegation?
Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
Phoebe: Your middle name is Pamela?
PHOEBE: Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Phoebe: Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend.
Phoebe: Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! (Starts looking around for her) Monica? (Goes into Monica's bedroom.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Which-which sister is this? Is this the spoiled one or thats bitter?
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.