words in movies
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
Phoebe: (Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?
Phoebe: Yeah? Why?
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Phoebe: Ohh, he left his cell phone.
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Phoebe: I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
Rachel: Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.
Phoebe: That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together (quietly) having sex.
Phoebe: No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.
Phoebe: Nice try.
Phoebe: I dont know.
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
Phoebe: Ah-ha! Too cocky!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Phoebe: (handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.
Phoebe: Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide.
Phoebe: Did I use that already today? Im sorry.
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Good.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Ooh, now you lost me.
Phoebe: No I didnt!
Phoebe: No.
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Phoebe: That is damning evidence.
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Phoebe: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for the cute guy to show up for his cell phone. Rachel is putting on perfume by spraying it ahead of her face, and moving into it. Phoebe tries to steal some.]
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
Phoebe: Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?
Phoebe: Because its my apartment!
Phoebe: Okay. All right. (Hands her the phone.) Good luck explaining all the calls to China.
(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Phoebe: Could you-could you umm, give us one second?
Phoebe: Wh-what do we do?
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Rachel: I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Phoebe: Yeah! Youre such a great friend!
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
Phoebe: (whispering) Nice!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
Phoebe: Eeee!!! Eee!! Eee!!
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here?
Phoebe: Hey Ross!
Phoebe: Oh, What's the matter?
Phoebe: Ugh, okay Sherlock! (Hands over the key.)
Phoebe: Worse?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (The chick clucks.) You'll get your turn!
Phoebe: Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar.
Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!
Phoebe: Ok well give her a chance to see all of that!
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Phoebe: Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.
Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
[Scene: The theatre where Joey is auditioning. Phoebe enters when Joey's on stage and she sits down. He hasn't seen her.]
Phoebe: Promise?
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: Well, do you care about friendship?
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
(Phoebe enters the hall)
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Receptionist: Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Phoebe: (watching around and whispering) Ok, are they listening?
Phoebe: I didnt know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Phoebe: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: Ja!
Phoebe: Okay, then I'm Swedish...
Phoebe: (Thinks for a few moments) Uhm... Stockholm.
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
Phoebe: You know it's me?
Phoebe: How can you come here?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
Phoebe: Oh, Ja! Ja!
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Phoebe: Ok.
Rachel: (now lifts her head) Phoebe!!
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?
[Scene: The Spa Reception. Phoebe walks in]
Receptionist: Good morning Phoebe.
Phoebe: It's a normal Swedish name... Ikea...
Phoebe: Exactly!
Phoebe: Ok, that'll be great!
Phoebe: Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.
Rachel: Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?
Phoebe: (singing) Food here at 'Javu'..will kill you..the food here at 'Javu' ...will kill you..
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. But I really like this guy. And I think he really happens to like me.
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Phoebe: Oh, I'll take some of that.
Phoebe: Ok!
(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: You like Joey?
Phoebe: (picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
Phoebe: Who else?
Phoebe: So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie?
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (whispering) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Phoebe: Okay so, by melting, you meant melting.
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Phoebe: (sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet!
Phoebe: Ooh! We have a problem.
Phoebe: Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Phoebe: Good plan.
Phoebe: Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. (hugs her)
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Good!
Phoebe: What happened?
David: Phoebe! Hi!
Phoebe: David?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (they hug)
Phoebe: Yeah. What-what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Well... (pause) no.
Phoebe: Mike and I broke up.
Phoebe: Ok. (they walk away together)
Phoebe: I'd love to.
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
(Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party!