words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Phoebe: Wow!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?
Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
(Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked)
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Oh, this could take a while.
Phoebe: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Uh! Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
Phoebe: Ross...
Phoebe: Can you?
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")
Phoebe: Oh God!
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Phoebe: Welcome back!
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Phoebe: Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Phoebe: Nope.
Phoebe: Yep.
Phoebe: Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Phoebe: You're not serious, right?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Phoebe: Thank you, mister Bag.
(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh hi Rita! Good! (to Mike) Oh, Rita's a massage client.
Phoebe: (shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Phoebe: Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan?
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: It's a funny word.
Phoebe: ...Oh crap!
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
(A man sits down next to Phoebe and lights up a cigarette.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Phoebe: Hey, Lizzie.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
Phoebe: Oh, that's fine, no.
Phoebe: Huh!
(Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: No, I'm fine.
Phoebe: Does, um, anyone wanna see?
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen!
Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?
Phoebe: There it is!
Monica: Alright. Phoebe?
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
Phoebe: Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question.
Phoebe: Oh, like that's a word.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: And-and a power tie?
Phoebe: Did he mention us?
Phoebe: Definitely not his mother.
Phoebe: (screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Phoebe: There he is! There he is!
Phoebe: A couple hours.
Phoebe: You'd already broken up.
Phoebe: ...Flame Boy.
Phoebe: Well, the only thing you can do. Sleep with Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!"
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Phoebe: Are you gonna go over there?
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
Joey: Oh yeah? (To Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you.
Phoebe: Eww, I don't wanna do that.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Phoebe: No! Look-look! Theres the coffee table they stole from us!
Phoebe: Ok, you weren't there.
Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.]
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Phoebe: It's like a gift.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Phoebe: Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
Phoebe: Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
Phoebe: Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!