words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Phoebe: Okay everyone, think thick.
Phoebe: Hi! Wish me luck!
Rachel: Fine! Well ask Phoebe.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Phoebe: Oh! I knew it! I knew it! I felt really thick this morning.
Phoebe: Embryossss? As in, "More than one?"
Phoebe: Five? Okay, where am I giving birth, a hospital or a big box under the stairs?
Phoebe: Thats it! 25 percent? That means thats its like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
Phoebe: Okay, well yknow what, dont worry you guys, cause Im-Im gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Phoebe: Wow! You guys really dont know anything!
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (To the embryos) Good luck.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now.
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
(Phoebe comes in from the bathroom as Rachel sits down in disgust.)
Phoebe: Nope, not knocked up yet.
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, Im gonna do whatever I can to help this so, Im just gonna yknow, lie it your chair, (She climbs into the chair and drapes her feet over the back of the chair.) Y'know? Yeah, good, Im let gravity yknow, do its jobs.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will buy you some Adidas."
Alice: Hi, Phoebe! We were just at the drugstore and we got you a little present.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh.
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Phoebe: Great. (Goes to take the test.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay, but this cant be good for the baby.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebes here! Okay, lets turn out all the lights and well just watch the movie!
[Scene: Gary's precinct, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Phoebe: Then keep running. (They resume the chase.)
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: Thats funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Rosss table.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: Ah!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.]
Phoebe: I was in charge of cups.
Phoebe: Wh-wh-what are you doing?
Phoebe: Rachel.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Phoebe: Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type.
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
Phoebe: Ya, you know, Rachel shell do whatever you want. Yknow, you can just walk all over her.
Phoebe: Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Phoebe: Okay.
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
Phoebe: Yeah, totally.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Phoebe: Who said you were?
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Phoebe: Really? Ive heard better.
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I kinda thought.
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Phoebe: (giggles) Im pretty.
Phoebe: No thinking! No thinking! Tie or ascot?
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Phoebe: Of course, yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I like cards.
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Phoebe: What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Phoebe: Sorry Jill.
Phoebe and Ross: Yeah, we went shopping!
Phoebe: I would love that job!
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Phoebe: Yknow? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium.
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Joey: Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Umm, I think theres something you should maybe know.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]