words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: Rifts. Yeah, I know.
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Phoebe: Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm.
Phoebe: Okay?
Phoebe: Okay, how do you feel now?
Phoebe: Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Phoebe: (finishing removing her bra) Okay, there.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Phoebe: Hello.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guys here!
Phoebe: Hmm, pulling in a salary in the high six figures or rubbing gross naked people for chump changeooh, what do I do?! What will I do?!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Thats not why youre going! Youre going because you hope hes gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."
Phoebe: What?! What do you mean youre going to London?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Phoebe: Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails did not grow at all yesterday.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Phoebe: I havent really had any yet.
Phoebe: Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, were not welcome in the house of no imagination.
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it!
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Phoebe: No-no, its okay. But are we sure we dont want the waterbed?
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
Phoebe: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!
Phoebe: Okay. Okay but you should know though, Ive raised my rates to $200 an hour.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Phoebe: All right, so, okay...
Phoebe: I dont want to hear about her!!
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
[Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff]
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Phoebe: It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so whats going on now?
Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?
Phoebe: So nothing got ruined?
Phoebe: So tell me about this girl?
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk, Ross is walking up and sees two women that look like Phoebe and Rachel from behind.]
Phoebe: Jason is not a sissy!
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (entering, holding a pair of Roller Blades) Hi.
Phoebe: Hello?
Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hi, so what happened?
Phoebe: I dunno. I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight.
[Scene: Phoebes, she is coming home. She turns on the lights, and sits down on the couch.]
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Youre the most beautiful bride Ive ever seen.
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Phoebe: I know you didnt, I was talking about Monica.
Phoebe: This pregnancy is throwing me all off.
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
Phoebe: Oh right, maybe Ill just go home.
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Phoebe: Im sorry, I-I-I-I dont live here anymore. I-I didnt know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing, with everyone else present.]
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
(She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: m'ap
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Phoebe: London is stupid! Stupid!
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Phoebe: (excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!
Phoebe: Three? You guys were worried I wouldnt even have one!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Well, it felt French.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Some guy bought it. Im sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Phoebe: Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?!
Rachel: Phoebe, woo!
Joey: Phoebe!
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.