words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in)
Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Fine!
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Phoebe: Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Rachel: No, these aren't all my suitcases. (picks up small blue suitcase and shows to Phoebe) This one's Paolo's.
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Phoebe: Paolo made a pass at me.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: I'm so embarrassed, I'm the one he hit on!
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
(Phoebe scoots her chair over to Rachel and hugs her)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Phoebe: Ooh!
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Phoebe: You ok?
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
[Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler exchange money again.]
Phoebe: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Phoebe: What am I gonna do?! What am I gonna do?! I cant call my office theyll kill me! I cant call my clients theyll kill themselves! Great, now my chest hearts.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
PHOEBE: That's him.
MR A: Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Um, do you wanna sit?
PHOEBE: Everything?
Phoebe: Oh! You got it?!
Joey: (sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a "yeah, yeah, yeah" way.)
Phoebe: Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
PHOEBE: Sir! No sir!
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
PHOEBE: No, no, no. I'm sorry. It's "smelly cat, smel-ly cat".
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
PHOEBE: I miss Rose.
PHOEBE: Ok, that's so nice.
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. I'm goin' in.
PHOEBE: Yeah, me, too, technically.
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Phoebe: I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm justI'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
PHOEBE: Oh, wow.
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike enter]
PHOEBE: I know.
[Phoebe pulls out her guitar]
Phoebe: I dont want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.
Phoebe: But hes falling in love with her.
ALL: Hi Phoebe.
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
Phoebe: Yeah. And, first heres a gift.
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
Phoebe: Oh. Uh, I'm on. (picks up the phone)
PHOEBE: But.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
PHOEBE: Yay, I rock.
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is singing.]
PHOEBE: I can do that.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
ALL: Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: OK, hi again.
Phoebe: Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)
(Phoebe desperately tries to find the scripted response to that line.)
PHOEBE: I see.
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
PHOEBE: Fired! Why?
PHOEBE: Who's Barney.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, I'm ready.
Phoebe: Oh no. [The patented version.]
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
Phoebe: I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
Phoebe: But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...
[Scene: Monicas Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.]
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
[Scene: The beach house, Phoebe is coming down the stairs all packed and ready to go.]
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
Phoebe: The little jail between the doors!
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
[Ross, Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel all exchange money.]
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
Chandler: Nope! Because Im not your boyfriend. (to Phoebe, whos entering) Hey Pheebs, how did it go?
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
Chandler: All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?
PHOEBE: (singing angrily) Terry's a jerk, and he won't let me work, and I hate Central Perk!
Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldnt give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
Phoebe: (Smiling blankly) Right, and its me.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.