words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Phoebe: You guys, why didnt you tell me you were eloping?
Phoebe: Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse?
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!!
Phoebe: Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Phoebe: Yeah
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Yeah, whats your point?
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Phoebe: My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe Sr: Hi!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Phoebe: Wow! You really go all out when youre expecting company.
Phoebe Sr: No, I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didnt know that you did pot.
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica.
Phoebe: Ooh, erotiery!
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Phoebe Sr: No-no-no, the-the puppys yours.
Phoebe: Oh, I get a puppy!!
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Phoebe: All right, Im sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Phoebe: Ooh, yknow what, I think its time for puppy to go out again. Come on, lets go to the balcony.
Phoebe: Umm, the street. Come on, lets go to the street. Ooh, listen, dont go onto the balcony until after I get back. (Leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, with the puppy, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: My moms gonna be here any minute. I cant do this, I cant give him up. Yesno, I can. I dont want to. But I can. No.
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Umm!
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah!
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Phoebe Sr: (entering) Hi! Whats going on?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Phoebe Sr: But Phoebe
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Phoebe Sr: Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but its justthat was my puppy.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Listen, I think I've left something here.
Phoebe: (realizes) Ooh, maybe that's him!
Phoebe: Well it depends.
Phoebe: I'm a woman!
Phoebe: Wow! Talking about high maintenance
Phoebe: While drinking...
Phoebe: Oh my god.
Phoebe: Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties!
PHOEBE: (spotting Rachel's dress) Oooh.� Girl's night out indeed.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
(Mike kisses Phoebe)
Phoebe: Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing.
Phoebe: All the time when you're cooking.
Phoebe: Can you totally see through her shirt ?
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Phoebe: Every little bit of you!
Phoebe: Yes, she gives the people what they want.
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Hitchhiker: All right, see ya Pheebs. (Gets out and Phoebe drives away.)
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What you got?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Phoebe: A teacher?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: So now what do we do?
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Phoebe: Good. (Phoebe and Mrs. Burkart go into the other room, leaving Monica with everyone staring at her.)
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Phoebe and Joey are approaching.]
Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed.
Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.
Eric: Im not smart. (Phoebe has no comeback.) I just wanted so much to be impulsive once. To be romantic.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on!
Phoebe: Hey, Rach!
Phoebe: Hello?
Phoebe: My dear, sweet Rach.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Phoebe: (To Joey) How could you pick up a hitchhiker?! He could be a rape(She holds her hand in front of the hitchhikers face), a rapist or a killer or something!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Phoebe: Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.
(Phoebe sees Rachel and Ross through the window.)
Phoebe: Mexico!
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Rachel: No! You gotta get me out of here Phoebe! These bargain shoppers are crazy!
Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Phoebe: Right. (Pause) Or you might get everything youve wanted since you were fifteen.
Phoebe: Why??
Phoebe: I want you to stay.
Phoebe: I'll miss you.
Phoebe: Great! Ok...I'll go get the tube top.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Holy mother of God!!!
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! (Puts it out and comes out of the bathroom.) Im so glad youre here.
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Ok, we've got great news.
Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together.
Phoebe: Uh huh...we're playing you two.
Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.
Phoebe: Yeah! You bet roomy!
Phoebe: China patterns!!!!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
Phoebe: Oh. Wow.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Phoebe: But it's just...
(We hear Phoebes muffled voice through the ceiling.)
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Phoebe: Yeah I get that.
Phoebe: Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course.
Phoebe: Hi
[Scene:Ross's apartment. Phoebe is at the door.]
Phoebe: Never.
[Scene: Phoebes hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]
Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.
Phoebe: That's not how you really feel is it?
Phoebe: I do love Mike.
Phoebe: Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)
Phoebe: It's not cooler.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks.