words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Phoebe: Okay.
(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the couch.)
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Phoebe: Sting has a son that goes there too!
Phoebe: You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?!
Phoebe: Stings son, seven years old and theres a picture.
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Phoebe: There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! Thats why you have kids!
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Wow! Theyre beautiful!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Well then get your money back and return them!
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Phoebe: Oh no! Why not?
Phoebe: How come?!
Phoebe: Wait! But Ross if they dont get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Phoebe: Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen!
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Phoebe: Yes you can! Sting says so himself!
Phoebe: (singing) Rosssss can!
Ross: Look Phoebe, Im sorry its just
Phoebe: (singing) Rossss can!
Ross: Phoebe, I
Phoebe: (singing) Rosss can! Give me the tickets! Ross can give me the tickets!!
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, there you are Ben!
Ben: Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Phoebe: Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, Im with Ben.
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Why else would I be here?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Okay. Well then, could we reschedule? For say, Friday night perhaps at 8 oclock?
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in quite a pickle. Because you see Im very busy before and after the concert, and hes obviously busy during.
Phoebe: Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. Four would be great.
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Ross are there.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Phoebe: Oo, where are the seats?
Phoebe: Okay, now would you say that thats more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?
Phoebe: Then thats not breaking the law! Im there!
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
Phoebe: David! (He kisses her cheek) What-what are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be in Russia?
Phoebe: Yeah, just dont get your hopes up.
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: (gasps) White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place.
Phoebe: Oh, I get more because Im dainty.
Monica: Then, Id steer clear of Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Phoebe: Grandmas gonna have to get in line.
Phoebe: Just get your nails done?
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
Guy: Dom da-da dom! Here ye! Here ye! Delivery from the Mattress King. (to Phoebe) You Miss Geller?
Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is memorizing his lines. Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as well.]
Phoebe; Oh, incredible! Oh! Champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach, it was sooo ro-man-tic!
Phoebe: You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.
Phoebe: No, Jack and the Beanstalk.
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Phoebe: I dont know! How are the-the-the-the, yknowYoure clothes arent funny.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Phoebe: That is damning evidence.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Phoebe: Nu-uh!
Phoebe: You got fake numbered.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
[Scene: Phoebe's cab. Phoebe is driving very fast, and a terrified Ross has closed his eyes.]
Phoebe: (she takes the bowl from Rachel's hands and she starts running around the room and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH!
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Joey enters strutting.]
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Phoebe: Well, I-I thought a lot about what you said, and um, I realilized duh, all right maybe I was a little judgmental. Yeah, (looks at the tree) oh, but oh...
Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
Phoebe: Xcusa seniora, voulez-bere quakay[Beep]uck it!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! Shes always best at us that wily minx.
Phoebe: Musty!
Phoebe: Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Monica are in there, and Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: Just a sec., we're kind in the middle of something here.
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with her own dollhouse, that she made herself.]
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered hes gay.
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, (To Chandler) and you?
Phoebe: Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.
PHOEBE: Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist.
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
PHOEBE: That'll work too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter wearing workout clothes.]
Phoebe: Maybe we have the flight-number wrong. God.
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
[cut to a new scene, also in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting, Phoebe is nearby.]
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
Phoebe: Yeah, or, or, or, Mississ-Pete.
Phoebe: Still going through that dry spell with Carol?
Phoebe: Because its our thirtieth birthday.
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
Phoebe: (Philosophically) Oh, thats good.
Phoebe: Well look no further, (shows her the dead one) this ones yours! Ahhh.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan's dressing room. Phoebe is fixing her hair and Duncan enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. Meanwhile, Im gonna do whatever I can to help this so, Im just gonna yknow, lie it your chair, (She climbs into the chair and drapes her feet over the back of the chair.) Y'know? Yeah, good, Im let gravity yknow, do its jobs.
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Phoebe: No, no, no, we’re not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.
Phoebe: Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!
Phoebe: (entering, with about 20 purses hanging around her neck) Morning. Rach, I'm here with the purses!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is paying Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
[Scene: Outside Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is running back to the cab.]
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You cant win if you dont ask any (sees that hes asleep) QUESTIONS!!!
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is running up to meet David.]
[Cut to living room, Phoebe enters and closes Rachels door behind her.]