words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Oh no, let her stay out there. Its sweet.
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?
Phoebe: Oh, 19! We thought you said 90!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Phoebe: Oh honey no, you ate it all.
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Phoebe: Check it out. Okay, I can play this when the guests are coming in. Okay. (Singing)
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Phoebe: Okay. (She goes to get ready.)
Ross: It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Phoebe: Why?!
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Phoebe: Well, I dont think Monica is gonna take this away.
Phoebe: Would she?
Phoebe: Okay, you said I could sing at your wedding so, Im just gonna need a small deposit.
Phoebe: Yknow, just some good faith money to hold the date.
Phoebe: Oh, I see. (Exits angrily.)
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont really their permission.
Phoebe: Yeah! And if you wanna look 19, then you You gotta do something about your eyes.
Phoebe: They give you away! Theres just-theres just too much wisdom in there. (Joey nods in agreement.) Just put some tea bags on there for like 15 minutes.
Phoebe: Maybe just 10 minutes for you.
Phoebe: (singing, angrily)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is singing outside Monica and Chandlers door.]
Phoebe: (singing)
"We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. Thats right, Im here all night, and Chandler will never get l "
Phoebe: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Phoebe: It's like a gift.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Phoebe: Oh! okay. Wait, are we in Joey's imagination?
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
Phoebe: Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
Phoebe: Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Phoebe: - and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Monica and Phoebe: Shut up!
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
[Cut to Phoebe in another part of the store.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel.
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Phoebe: (entering, with Gary) Hey!
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Phoebe is singing.]
Phoebe: About what?
Phoebe: Well, he didn't tell me.
Phoebe: What surprise party?
Phoebe: Yeah, and theyve been coming by all day. They love it!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Phoebe: Okay, fine! Fine! (Takes the oyster and pretends to eat it while dropping it on the floor) Mmm hmmmmm .
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Oh? (Takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello you.
Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be?
Phoebe: Maybe we can like go to a movie or something.
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn�t get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Phoebe: Okay, Im sorry. Ill stop.
PHOEBE: Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh... Milwaukee.
Phoebe: Seriously, what-what's the part?
Phoebe: Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Phoebe: (smiling) You betcha!
Phoebe: Yes, and it is my dying wish to have that ring. See, if Im not buried with that ring then my spirit is going to wander the nether world for all eternity
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: Oh, that sucks!
Monica: (rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! (Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Phoebe: Thanks!
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid.
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Phoebe: What'd I say?
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Phoebe: Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? (Thinks of something) All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice!
Phoebe: Ooh! That's so nice...
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Phoebe: Hey.
Monica: Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh, can I come?
Phoebe: Big Bird's friend.
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
Phoebe: See, this is exactly what we do not have time for. (She rushes into her room)
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
RYAN: Hey baby, I'm back... [Phoebe is sitting by the window in a veil.]
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
Phoebe: All right, hold on! Okay, let's just all think.
Phoebe: Almost never.
[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]
Phoebe: You missed a belt loop.
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Phoebe: Well, if you don't know I can't help you.
Phoebe: I guess it was kinda funny.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes resting on the bed as Phoebe enters.]