words in movies
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...
Phoebe: Is that Ross?
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Phoebe: Oh that tart... floozy... giant...
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!!
Phoebe: Get over here!
Phoebe: We've got shoes being kicked off over here.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over)
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: YE-AH!
Phoebe: Now, what is this?
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Phoebe: Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...
Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this...
Phoebe: No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who?
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Phoebe: Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you.
Phoebe: You know what, we're gonna have sex. Let's just leave it there.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Phoebe: Enchanté (she holds out her hand, and they shake hands)
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: You're welcome!
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. Is that annoying? And speaking about being selfish in bed, hows Whitney?
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
Phoebe: (after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!
Phoebe: Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what Ive got?
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Phoebe: So great! Okay! Tomorrow were gonna drive out to Montauk.
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Phoebe: You must be Hilda.
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Phoebe: Well, we don't n-n-n-n-need a fireman, we'd, we'd like a good mechanic. (hears the sound of approaching sirens) Oh my God, here they come! Well, we gotta get out of here!
Phoebe: Umm, the street. Come on, lets go to the street. Ooh, listen, dont go onto the balcony until after I get back. (Leaves)
Phoebe: Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.
Phoebe: Potato, Potaato. (Shes pronounces potato with the both the short and long As.)
PHOEBE: Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.
RACH: Yeah, we're gonna... we're gonna get some cake. [Phoebe and Rachel go to counter.]
PHOEBE: I can be a waitress. OK watch this. Um, gimme two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and rick'em, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la.
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
Phoebe: Well actually, I know what time Chester and Marcia said.
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Phoebe: No, lets just draw straws.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebe is on the phone to the motor club.]
Phoebe: So youre not homesick yet?
Phoebe: (sees the table) Ooh, what a great table! Where-where did you get it?
Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Phoebe: OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
Phoebe: Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: How long has it been since you had sex?
Phoebe: And all of the sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (The flashback shows Paulo rolling over and showing Phoebe his equipment.)
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Phoebe: Oh no, I am mad at you. I know that much. But, I am sorry about the fat ass thing. You actually have a very sweet little hiney.
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
The Cute Guy: (To Phoebe) I thought you knew I was looking at you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling.]
Phoebe: No, I've got work and then I'm proposing..
Phoebe: Yeah a little. He seems really nice. Good kisser.
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kill her. Ordinary embolism might.
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
Phoebe: You guys, we said we were gonna have fun! Come on, hey, remember the time (She starts laughing hysterically.) You dont remember?
Phoebe: Oh, if I were, would-would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?
Phoebe: No-no! Thats okay, well just start over. Okay? Hi! Im Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet?
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Phoebe Sr: Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and...
Phoebe: Calm down. Maybe youre not pregnant.
Phoebe: Yum-my!
Phoebe: (panicking) But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way!
Phoebe: (coming back for Joey) No! (Grabs Joey and drags him away.)
Phoebe: (returning with Joey) With what?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
Phoebe: Wow! Oh my God, well if theyve ripped off our table ours must be much more than one and fifty dollars!
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Phoebe: Oh well, all right um, no offense, but you were kind of rude.
(Phoebe hugs Ross.)
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
PHOEBE: I don't believe this. Is this how this relationship's gonna work? Ross equals boss. I mean, c'mon what is this, 1922?
Phoebe: Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you.
Phoebe: Is it a meatball sub?
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Phoebe: Huh. Okay. Well, Im really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.)
Phoebe: 'Kay.
Phoebe: Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldnt tell, and I swore to like all my gods.
Phoebe: Although... it's also about the wedding... Ugh, alright... here. (she gives the check and pulls it back again) No... Oh God... Oh!
Phoebe: Well this doesnt even smell like opium.
Phoebe: That and arrogance.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! (They go and get the coffee and the ice leaving Ross and Emily alone.)
PHOEBE: I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Sit up!
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
Phoebe: All right. Hold on. (She starts digging in the chair.) I got it. Nickel! (Donates it.) How much more do we need?
Phoebe: Secret affair!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are counting the invitations as Chandler exits from the bathroom.]
Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!
Phoebe: Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one: regular celery.
Phoebe: Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are still arguing over the phone.]
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]