words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
(The single light flickers and goes out. Leaving the room in total darkness.)
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run out through the fog.)
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the gang is helping Ross move out by carrying boxes. Chandler has picked a particularly large and apparently heavy box, because he takes a running start at it and still can't budge it.]
Joey: Ohh. Hey, remember when I ran into this thing (The shutters that close off the kitchen.) and it kinda knocked me out a little?
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Phoebe: I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
Rachel: So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!
Rachel: Yeah, y'know I-I think I'm just gonna hang out in my room.
Rachel: Come on you guys! Listen, if Emily knew I was here having dinner you with you she would flip out and you know it. It's okay, I really I don't mind.
[Time lapse, dinner is now finished and Ross is looking out the window.]
Monica: Wow, this is so weird. I just realized this might be the last time we'll all be hanging out together.
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
Monica: No! Wait! I think I can figure out the recipe from this cookie! I do stuff like this at work all the time.
(Why was this the trailer? Well, thats because it was an introduction into the special out takes episode that immediately followed the show. The entire out takes episode, Friends: The Stuff Youve Never Seen can be read by following this link.)
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
ROSS: I'm sorry, my pie was, was in your hood. Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7. [swats at an imaginary insect by his head, guy leaves promptly]
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Chandler: Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out!
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Amy storms out: Stupid Thanksgiving.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Rachel: Well hello! So, when are we gettin back out on the water matey?
(Joey comes running into the apartment, out of breath.)
Chandler: Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin out the Chan-Chan man!
Joey: Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls?
Rachel: Yeah. (She goes out to join her in the hall and starts looking for the dropped socks.)
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
Ross: (entering, out of breath) Hey!
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Phoebe: Well, Ive got to get out of this bed, Im going crazy here. Crazy!
(Joey storms back in and covering his face so he doesnt see Dina grabs the sandwich and heads back out.)
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Rachel: I am freaking out!
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Joey: Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Max: Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' (Storms out)
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Amy coming out of the bathroom: Hey. Hey where's the baby?
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
(During the mutual contraction Julie takes a moment to point out theyre having a contraction at the same time.)
Ross: Oh uh, Im sorry. (Runs out.)
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Phoebe: Ah-ha! Okay, (takes out a notepad) Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back. (Gets up and heads aft.)
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
(They start making out again.)
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Ross: Thats, thats pretty. (They start to dance and Gert tries to step on Rosss feet, but he pulls them out of harms way.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert?
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Chandler: Go and tell Rachel right now before Ross finds out.
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
[Scene: The Baby Furniture Store, Ross and Rachel are checking out.]
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Ross: Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five!
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Rachel: Oh, you go out with him. (goes over and hugs her)
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
JOEY: I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out.
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
Phoebe: I'm out of here (She leaves)
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Phoebe: It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out.
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
Chandler: Yea yea. (Pulls the balloon out of his mouth)
Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, Im in my map and-and (Ross enters) Hey!
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Hayley: I would love to go out with you.
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
(She makes a big show out of pulling out the cork and pours the wine.)
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.