words in movies
Ross: Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five!
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
(Joey comes out of his room)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Phoebe: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Ross: (Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)
Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.
Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Benjamin: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Monica: Get all freaked out because everybody was talking and just joking around about marriage and stuff.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Joey: Ooooh! Freeze him out.
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
(Chandler imitates retching and gets out of the chair.)
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
Rachel: Hes downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Helena: I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and (She holds the mike out to the audience.)
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Monica: No kidding, out of towners huh? What did you tell em?
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Joey: Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out?
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Phoebe: Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants!
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
Chandler: Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?
Ross: Oh for cryin out loud! (He storms out.)
Frank: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Cashier: Why dont you fill out this address card. (Hands him one.)
Phoebe: It's just my knitting that's all! (A dog sticks its head out of Phoebe's bag. Everyone looks puzzled.) Yes! I knit this. I'm very good.
Joey: (To Ross) I think we gotta end the freeze out.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Chandler: (To Chandler) Im out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Ross: What? Oh, okay. Wait here. (Goes to get it, but before he gets there Aunt Millie sits down on it forcing him to pull it out from behind her which gets her attention.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
CHAN: All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s.
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Terry: Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Monica: Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change.
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
Chandler: Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used.