words in movies
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says )
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Monica: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, thats it, okay, Im out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Joey: Noo!! Ive had the best day ever! Dude, check this out!
Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, Im in my map and-and (Ross enters) Hey!
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Ross: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
Rachel: (Running back out the door with her passport.) Bye, Pheebs.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Chandler: Out loud?
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
Amanda: I appreciate this soo much, I've been trying to go out with this guy for like a month.
Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: No, Im genuinely sorry the Mark thing didnt work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
[Time lapse. Chandler runs out of the bathroom.]
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
Estelle: Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad mouthing you all over town.
Phoebe: Oh, I want to look too! (She runs over and sits down and checks out a picture). Yikes!
Chandler: (closing the box) Yknow what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Monica: Why would the little girl creep you out?
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Doug: Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh!
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
Chandler: Hey so, did uh, did she move out?
Chandler: Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.
Joey: Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, butbye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.)
Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped outand everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.
Richard: Well I know I was an idiot! And I tried to forget you, I really did! Yknow after we had lunch last year I spent six months in Africa trying to get you out of my head!
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
Monica: Oh, so you finally took it out of the marina huh?
Rachel: All right, thats it, you guys! What happened out there?
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Chandler: Mon, get out here!
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Monica: Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl.
Ross: Okay, here we go! Emma's first birthday cake... Well hey... well, blow out the candle. Come on Emma.
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but youre still going out with her!
Phoebe: Oh, wait, let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out.
Ross: Anyway, if she, if she wasnt in to me, why-why would she ask me out again?
(Then she reaches over again and Joey moves his plate a little to the left, and she misses, then she reaches out again, and he moves his plate to the right , so she misses again. She tries a third time and this time, Joey pushes his plate so far to the left, it drops off the edge of the table)
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
Rachel: She asked-asked you out again?
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
Ross: All right, I'm coming out. Hey, can you turn the lights off.
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
Joey: Hello New York! (The woman bats his hand out of the way.)
(Someone calls out from her apartment.)
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Monica: Put it out!!
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Monica: Phoebe! Put that cigarette out!
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Ross: Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.
Mike: Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Chandler: So then I guess Ferdinad is out.
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
Joey: Takes it out of you? (Laughs.)
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
(He runs out and Frank watches him go.)
(They both get out of bed and go get some cake.)
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Joey: (to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)
Lowell: Yup, and waaay out of your league. (Exits)
All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
(Chandler leaves dejectedly. When the door closes Rachel and Phoebe jump out from behind the curtains and scream )
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Monica: Thats right. Get it out of your system while were alone.
Monica: What?! Youre going out with her again!
Ross: Going out with who?
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)