words in movies
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
[Time lapse. Chandler runs out of the bathroom.]
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
MR. GREENE: I'm getting my cigarettes out of my jacket.
GUY: [to Phoebe] I hear you can get people out of here.
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
MRS. GREENE: ...but when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.
CHANDLER: [running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
RACHEL: Ok, I've got one. [blows out the candles. Somebody calls out 'heads up' and the volleyball lands in the flan] Wow, those things almost never come true.
Phoebe: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
(Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain.)
Rachel: Well, now, wait. Now Im all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me.
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Ross: Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid?
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
Chandler: (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
Chandler: Out loud?
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Rachel: Hi. Sorry, things arent working out so well.
Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. Im here to pick out my Christmas tree.
Chandler: (trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Monica: Im changing out of this.
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Chandler: For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey!
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: Pheebs! Youre blocking the porn! Look out!
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Gunther: (To the guy) Get out!
Phoebe: Hey. Guess what! My landlord just called and my apartment is gonna get ready soon, so I guess I'll be moving out.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
FBOB: [pulls out a flask] Whattaya say we make these, uh, coffees Irish?
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Rachel: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?
Joey: Ohh, get these things out of me!
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: Have you ever taken out the trash? (Hands her the garbage.)
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
Joey: But it's dark out.
Monica: No, she's out shopping.
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Chandler: Oh-no, yknow with Gandolf wed be out all night!
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
Rachel: No, God! Please, let me! (Runs out.)
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
Monica: (getting out) No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Chandler: What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)
Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out!
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
CHANDLER: Guys guys, check this out.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
(The single light flickers and goes out. Leaving the room in total darkness.)
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Cynthia: No, we just went out.
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
Joey: All right, all right. (he comes out from their apartment with a huge sandwich in his hand)
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
Cynthia: God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out.
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
(The man starts to take some change out.)
Rachel: So did I. I'm really glad Monica asked us out.
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)