words in movies
Ross: Yeah, you didnt get one.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Phoebe: Good one! Yeah.
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
Monica: Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, Im the one thats making him wait!
Monica: Im just having one of those days where you realize youre in a dead-end relationship!
Joey: Chandler is a complex fellow, one who is unlikely to take a wife.
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Rachel: Pick one.
Richard: Well all right, one thing happened?
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
913 - The One Where Monica Sings
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Gavin: One of the best, ma'am, one of the best...
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Monica: Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"
Rachel: Yeah, I think she wants the old one back.
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
Phoebe: One, two, three!
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again?
Ross: Oh, we have one too!!
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Joey/Drake: Oh, what about this one.
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
Ross: No. It's the one he's licking.
Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...
Rachel: No, one of them...
Monica: Which one?
Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Chandler: It kills over one americans every year.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
Phoebe: I-I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with, like, y'know, guns and bombs and, like, buses going really fast...
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
Monica: Gotcha sailor. (Kicks one of her shoes off and it lands in the kitchen knocking something down, but she continues to strip.)
Joey: Which one, they all suck!
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
[Scene: The Fertility Clinic; Chandler walks out one of the rooms]
Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three...
BIG BULLY: Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Joey: Hey, here you go. (Hands her another one.)
Chandler: (yelling from the changing room) All right! I found one that fits!
(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Monica: Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! (Breaks it up.) Now listen, no ones gonna fight in this apartment.
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Monica: We do not have one of those signs.
Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really?
Monica: (nearly shouting) One thousand...
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
Joey: (stands up) I just have one question!
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Ross: No, I'll do it. (he quickly grabs Joey's boarding pass and gives Joey his one.)
Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Monica: Which one is which again?
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's Sandwich, Ross his confronting his boss about him eating Ross's sandwich.]
Phoebe: What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?
Chandler: She went on one of those spray-on tan places.
Phoebe: Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we?
Gary: Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so
Monica: One Two Three...
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Rachel: Chandler, thats not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And youve just gotten her one great present? I mean thats just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
(He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.)
Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Jack: Which one are you?
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Estelle: The one I told you about last week?
Rachel: Oh, ok, which one?
Rachel: Oh! See just Im right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks! (She sits down heavily in one of the new chairs)