words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
Monica: (pulling on a robe) Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Joey: Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.
Ross: (on phone) I-I-I don't care if I said some other girl's name you prissy, old twit!
Monica: Vomit tux? Who vomited ony'know what, what you up to Joe?
Joey: Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!
Phoebe: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.
(They are standing on either side of Chandler as they discuss the point. Chandler, meanwhile, is disgusted with the whole argument.)
Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?
Ross: (on phone) Hello.
Emily: (on phone from London) Hello, Ross?
Ross: Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship.
Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's on the phone with Emily.]
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!
Monica: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Monica: (Looking at the TV) You're not on TV.
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Emeril: (on TV.) Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
Joey: Come on man! You've been here all day!
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Chandler: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. (She starts to take off her latex gloves.) Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.
(He starts to carry her into the hallway but hits her head on the door.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is prying at the Magic 8 Ball with a screwdriver as there's a knock on his door which he goes to answer.]
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
Monica: (takes the phone from Ross) Come on. (Answering phone) Hello? (Listens) Im sorry you have the wrong number. (Listens) (Whispering) Okay, Ill call you later dad. I love you. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hey! Youre not dead! Okay, see ya!
Carl: I mean, come on, buddy, get a real car!
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
PHOE: No, I felt it on my hip. You could tell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the party continues with Rachel leaning on the counter as Gunther walks in carrying candy.]
ROSS: This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television.
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
Chandler: Come on, tell me.
Joey: (on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens) Oh, really, really, really? Well, let me tell you something... you will care about it, because I care about it! You got it? Good! (slams phone down, then leans back and realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Don: so Ive been slowly phasing out the wine importing and focusing more on the cheese side of things.
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
Joey: Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.
Ross: Come on, lets go!
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross is on the phone.]
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is lecturing on facial expressions.]
Ross: Rachel, come on. Give us a chance.
Chandler: Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress.
Phoebe: Come on Mon, let her throw the ball.
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Ross: Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Ross: Oh, come on, now you know you want em.
Rachel: No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on.
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Chandler: Me! On my computer.
EDDIE: Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?
Ross: Well I had a great time! Umm, Chancy on the other hand
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
CHANDLER: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Monica:: I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. angry sharks turn you on!
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Chandler: No! That would be so awkward! LookBesides, we work in different departments. Hes on the sixth floor yknow? So he calls me Toby once in a while. Whats the big deal? It could be worse, its not like hes calling me Muriel. (Chandler suddenly freezes into place.)
[Theres a knock on the door.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Rachel: Honey, hes about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. Im just sorry we dont got popcorn.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.]
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Matress King: (on TV) Im close. Im cheap. Im the king.
CHANDLER: No, just wanna make sure we're on the same page.
Joey: Whats goin on?
Monica: Hi, come on in.
(At this point, Buffay, the Vampire Layer and Nasforatool start to get it on. Of course, since this is network TV, we can only see the reactions of the gang to the film playing off screen.)
Ross: Ah, well all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)
Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
[Cut to outside the window, with Ross reacting with disbelief. The shot pans back until we see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Chandler: Oh, I'm going on the lamb.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Monica: What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come?
Mark: Hey, hold on a second.
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Monica: What?! Come on I am tough! Punch me right here! (Her stomach) As hard as you can!
Phoebe: Okay, well maybe not on those levels.
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Why is he jumping on those women!
JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it.
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Rachel: Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
PHOE: Well, I finally took your advice and asked him what was going on.
Ross: Whats going on?
Rachel: No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! (She sits next to him on the couch.) Fine I wantI need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss?
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?
Rachel: You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff.
(She kisses him on the cheek)
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Monica: Umm, youve got some on your pants.
Phoebe: I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Phoebe: You guys!! Come on!
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.