words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Phoebe: Well then youd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! (Bangs on the roof again and off they go.)
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch.]
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Monica: Yeah, hes gonna work on that.
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, please, miss, you don't understand!
Allesandro: Why? So you could hang up on me?
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own.
Chandler: Well, she spent the last six months getting over him, and now shes celebrating that by going on a date with him.
(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")
Chandler: You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Monica: Because you're on my team! And my team always wins!
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and fruit flies everywhere.)
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Monica: Im just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you.
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Monica: Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants?
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
(someone knocks on the door) Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Ross: Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room!
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Rachel: Remember?! Wecome on both had the sarongs on, and we had the-the coconut bikini tops
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Rachel: No, I know, but Ihe just went on. He's right there, he's got the blue jacket on, I... can I j-just...
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Joey: Oh come on man, you can dance with my partner, shes real, uh, mellow!
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
Chandler: Okay, hold on. (Pauses as he readies himself.) Okay. (Walks away.)
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
Doug: Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh!
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Ross: Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Charlie: (sitting down on the bed) I think we need to talk...!
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is someone pounding on the door and Phoebe sleepily walks over and answers it. As she nears the door, the pounding stops and she can hear the smoke detectors wail.]
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
[Scene: Back in New York, Monica and Chandler in Central Perk on the couch]
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, well see.
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Chandler: This is great! (he presses a button on his intercom) Helen, could you come in here for a moment?
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
Ross: No. (to Rachel) So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Rachel: On a cliff, in Barbados, at sunset, and Stevie Wonder sang Isnt She Lovely as I walked down the aisle.
Monica: Because hes terrible! Okay, hes slow, he burns things, last night he lit my pastry chef on fire!
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
Parker: (laughs) Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, oh how you glow. May I? (Puts hand on her stomach)
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.
Frank Sr.: (Seeing the look on her face) Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe. Uh, Joe umm, Hill.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.