words in movies
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
Chandler: No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving?
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner.
Joey: On...?
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
Chandler: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Rachel: Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, I'll be just clean up in here a little bit! Hello Gavin
Gavin: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...
Woman: You already hit on me an hour ago
Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn""Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..."
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
Rachel: Ok, Ross, what�s going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
Ross: I don�t know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?
Chandler: Yes, and his father invented that magnetic strip on the back of credit cards.
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Chandler: Yes, Bravo on the hot nanny.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
(Joey falls on floor and gets up)
Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)
[Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch]
Ross: What do you think you're gonna do, have sex with her right here on my couch?
Rachel: Come on! Serious-ser-ser-seriously, what did she mean by that? (Mimicking Monica.) Especially you!
Ross: Yeah, come on in. Molly?
(knock on door, Ross opens, it's a woman)
Ross and Chandler: Come on! Joe!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is watching a rabbi play an electric guitar on TV. Phoebe enters.]
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
CHANDLER: You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Ross: Come on, man! Just-just take the sweats off. Okay? Just take em off and well have some fun.
Ross: Thats all youre basing this on?
Joey: Okay, I see what's going on here.
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
MONICA: (smiling) I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Amanda: Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
(They sit down on the couch.)
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips
Phoebe: Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on!
Ross: What's - what's going on?
Rachel: The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep.
Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going?
(He puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Monica: Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Ross sits down.]
Joey: (covering his ears and yelling) Oh no! No! No! (He starts banging on the door.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
(He starts to carry her into the hallway but hits her head on the door.)
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Ross: But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike.
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
Joey: (To himself) I am on fire!
Dr. Miller: 1 2 (She flinches on 2 this time.)
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
GUNTHER: I used to be Bryce on All My Children.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
(Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is reading a book on their sofa as the phone rings.)
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
Rachel: Joey, come on!
(Someone knocks on the door)
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin on that hot dog.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
(someone knocks on the door)
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart?
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Chandler: Guys! Guys! Come on! Its Thanksgiving, its not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, (to Joey) the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!!
Rachel: (to Monica)What's going on?
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Ross: Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Monica: Come on, lottery!! (everybody cheers)
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)