words in movies
[Cut to the city street. Monica and Chandler are jogging. Chandler is lagging behind so he hops in a cab and takes off, leaving Monica behind]
RACH: Ohhhhhhhh God. [climbs off his back]
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
Rachel: Oh, that was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane, because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left Philange.
Man: Im in the middle (The elevator door closes, cutting him off.)
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
Chandler: Im only going to pretend Im moving to Yemen, its the only way I can get rid off her.
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
(The girls are unsure how to pair off. Phoebe settles it)
Emily: Right, Ive got to be off, Ill see ya. Buh-bye then. (She leaves.)
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Emily: Ross, take me off speakerphone.
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
(Ross panics and falls off, dropping to the ground with a huge crash.)
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Bonnie: Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Phoebe: Well, we didnt have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Chandler: Oh yeah. First off all, chasing the Churo guy isn't jogging.
Phoebe: (still mimicking a heartbeat, only faster) Phoebe-Phoebe-Phoebe-PhoebeBurrrrr! (Mimics the sound of a cardiac monitor going off.)
(The chain breaks loose from the wall, and because Joey was pushing with all his might, he propells into the kitchen, towards the table with all the food. This table has wheels underneath it, and when Joey falls on this table, he rides into the living room, with all the food falling off, until finally Joey also falls off... Joey gets up quickly, a bit agitated, and acting as nothing happened. He is covered in food stains.)
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
(They start moving towards the bedroom, never taking their eyes off each other. They move past Ross and stop.)
Joey: Oh great. (Starts to go in.) (To Chandler) Hey! Go take off those pants, they look ready!
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Joey: Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off...
Passenger #1: I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange.
Ross: You can see the moonlight bouncing off her head! What the hell were you thinking?!!
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
[Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
The Man In The Sportscar: How hot are we? (He drives off.)
(Joey laughs, pulls it off, then does a high-pitched whine.)
Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
Chandler: But Ill tell you something. One of these days were get off of our buts and rent Die Hard again!
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
(Ross resumes his patrol when his best friend and sister walk up and start to take off their coats, but they stop when they see him.)
Ross: Oh shoot, tomorrows not so good, Im supposed to um, fall off the Empire State building and land on a bicycle with no seat. Sorry.
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
Phoebe: Oh, come on! Yes, remember that time on the frozen lake? We were playing chess, you said I was boring, and then you took off your energy mask and you were Cameron Diaz! (Realizes) Okay, there's a chance this may have been a dream.
Chandler: Oh, well... Maybe we could... (he sweeps the stuff off the table and wordlessly invites Monica to have sex on it)
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Now you can turn around or you can go in there and rip the Band-Aid off. What to you want to do?
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Ross: Monica, Im cutting you off.
PHOEBE: You know what, that's it, that's it. [She rips off the mits, Ryan follows her lead.]
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don’t need that kind of talk in my house!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
PHOEBE: Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'.
CHANDLER: Hey, Ben, remember us? Ok, the mole came off.
Ross: And-and to years of hard work finally paying off.
(She makes a show of bending over to get her coat and showing off her bum. She then walks out, leaving no one to eat her cookie.)
Ross: Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child.
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I dont, I dont know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Joey: Then I blame you! Yeah! That's right! You threw me off with all your slapping!
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben]