words in movies
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! TV announcer: And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives .
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door>
Rachel: Oh.. yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, <shakes head no> not the same thing.
<Ross comes out of the bedrooms>
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. <looks at china> hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out..
Amy: Oh my god. You're on Days of Our Lives.
Amy: wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you.
Amy coming out of the bathroom: Hey. Hey where's the baby?
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt.
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
<Everyone is looking around and at Joey with looks of 'what?' on their faces>
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Joey: Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. <throws hands out in the air>
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Ross walks away with a face of yeah ok.
Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
Amy: Because you don't want me to be happy. You.. you have always been jealous of me.
Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard of other people's feelings?
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting another cup of coffee.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
(While looking at the floor for the cat, Rachel runs into a pair of legs. She slowly gets up and sees a gorgeous Italian hunk holding the cat. Who, by the way, you'll hate very, very soon. The man. Not the cat.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
[From the background we hear a crash and Gunther comes running out of the back room, pushing people aside, reaching for Rachel.]
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Ross: I am the guy who�s taking care of our baby while you�re out at bars meeting guys!
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
Monica: (shaking the dice) A new pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man! (Rolls the dice.) Yes!
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
CHANDLER: Yep.� That's a lot of cats Jo Lynn.� Single are ya?
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross is fixing a display, Rachel is waiting patiently.]
Chandler: (looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!
Joey: (holding up the Queen of Clubs) Is that your card? (He winks and smiles.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
Phoebe: My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!"
Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
(Monica holds her hands out for a hug, but instead of hugging her, Amanda hangs her purse on one of Monica's extended arms.)
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
Monica: She's only a couple of months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows if she's gonna like us.
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
David: Right-o, right-o... (to Mike) Take good care of her. (and he leaves)
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
ROSS: Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Rachel: But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Janice: Barley? What kind of party serves barley?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Dr. Miller: But your chin here. (She does so.) Now, you'll feel a small puff of air in each eye.
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again)
Chandler: Will power? I�ve watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.
MIKE: (Holds up a six pack of Foster's Lager) I got beer.
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Ross: SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Conan: But there must be, there mustare a lot of moments over the years where youre just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Chandler: Okay first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting, that was just casual conversation between two people. That is all.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.
Dr. Mitchell: Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. (Baring his teeth to clean them with his finger) Go like this. (Dr. Rosen obeys.)
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
[Cut to a shot of the coliseum in Rome, Italy.]
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
[Thus starts another series of flashbacks all dealing with the pressure the rest of the Friends have to deal with in their jobs. The first flashback is from The One With The Stoned Guy.]
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Rachel: (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
Both: The dark of night has disappeared!!
Chandler: One of life's great, unanswerable questions. I mean, who knows? Maybe there's something even more painful than those things? Like this.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
The Interviewer: So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
Rachel: (entering, carrying an armful of those little soaps.) Hey-hey, you guys oh hurry up, get some, theres a whole cart outside (Sees the Walthams and stops.)
RACHEL: Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.
CHAN: All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s.
Chandler: Oh good, because uh we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.