words in movies
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Nurse: Hey, she just woke up! Shes hungry. Why dont we give this another try?
Nurse: We'll just get him cleaned up a bit.
Nurse: Absolutely.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Mona: Umm, actually Im just a nurse.
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Nurse: Right! We have a semi-private labor room waiting for you. So in just a minute
Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Ross: Oh my God! Im sorry, I was talking to this nurse, completely forgot.
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Nurse: Mrs. Geller?
Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: (Grimacing) Mmm hmmm.
Nurse: Why?
Nurse: You're that stupid.
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Nurse: Out!
Nurse: Breathe, breathe, breathe...
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Nurse: It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
Nurse: All right, honey, time to start pushing.
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
Delivery Room Nurse: No.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Nurse: Well
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Male Nurse: Rachel.
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
Ross (he buzzes for the nurse) Let's see if we can get that Rachel back here.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Nurse: Hi.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Nurse: Miss Green, your father's doctor is on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
Male Nurse: Hey!
(A male nurse enters.)
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Nurse #2: Its not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remorays a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Nurse: Hi!
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Nurse: Okay Rachel, are you comfortable?
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Nurse: Would you like to see a semi-private room?
Nurse #1: This poor guys been in a coma for five years. Its hopeless.
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Nurse: The doctor will be here in a minute to do your sonogram.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Nurse: I dont think the next patient is very far along.
Nurse: Hes in room 816.
Nurse: Dr. Drake who?