words in movies
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Monica: Hes not boring! Hes just-hes just low key.
Monica's Boyfriend: Yeah. Yknow, the hazelnut actually not a nut, its a seed.
Joey: (not impressed) Wow!!
Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Chandler: Well its kinda hard to be friends with Drake because of his busy schedule and the fact that hes not real.
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Phoebe: Most people dont like their jobs, I love my job! I have not been working for three hours and Im already going crazy. I miss Joan.
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Phoebe: Oh thats not so bad.
Rachel: (awestruck, then not) Isnt that a line from the show?!
Joey: (To Rachel) Did I not just tell him?
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
Ross: Carol our sex life isits just not working
Monica: Its not mayonnaise!!
Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Yknow I just wish we could be like on a break!
Monica: Well, youre not.
Rachel: Oh, its so easy for you I mean, youre not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want!
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Dr. Drake Remoray: Not so fast Wesley! (Rachel does a silent clap.)
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
Dr. Drake Remoray: Youre not dying Hope, youre gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.
Chandler: Listen Phoebe, hes right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Monica: Stop it!! Thats not funny!!
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Joey: No! No! No, not after seeing that.
Joey: Thats ridiculous! Im not a "Star," just a regular famous actor.
Joey: Look, do you want the ring or not?!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Youre not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Joey: Not the other one?
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!
Rachel: Me? Im great! Im fine! Im sooo good!! But, you know whos not great?! Men! Youre a man right Ross?!
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Monica: That is not true!
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
Chandler: (nervous) My duties? (Trying not to crack a joke) All right.
Rachel: Well that works out good, because I'm not listening.
Rachel: Well, you're not totally paranoid.
BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
RACHEL: Come on, they were not that huge.
Ross: (with a mouthful) That's not bad.
PHOEBE: Nah. Not really.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: Not from where I was standin.
Alice: Y'know it-its funny, um, Frank told me so much about you, but your not how I pictured you at all.
MONICA: You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone.
RACHEL: It's really not that big!
Rachel: I'm not telling. (collects chips)
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Monica: Wow, hes really not letting this go, is he?
ROSS: What, it's not your fault.
MONICA: Stop with the broom, we're not making noise.
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Rachel: (interrupting him) No-no-no-no-no Ross! Please, come on we do not have any of the big stuff we need! We do not a changing table! We do not have a crib! We do not have a diaper service!
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
PHOEBE: Not for you.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen.
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Phoebe: Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Phoebe: Well, he may not be my soul mate, but a girls gotta eat.
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Monica: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
PHOEBE: Well, I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid.
Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other?
MONICA: Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.
Chandler: No, I guess I just never really cried. Yknow? Im not a crying kind of guy.
Rachel: (starting to lose her composure) I mean were not, were not gonna live together anymore?
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Rachel: (finishing the last of her drink) I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow.
RACH: Oh, you're not having fun, are you?
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
RACH: Oh, no, Michael, it's not you. I'm sorry, it's just, it's this thing. It's probably not as bad as it sounds but this friend of mine is, is getting a cat with his girlfriend.
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Monica: Yeah and-and Im sorry too. But, well I justI like things done a certain way and the chemistrys just not right.
ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
ROSS: [long pause] She's not Rachel.
Chandler: You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
RACH: Not interested.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Phoebe: Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! (Whips back the sheet to reveal him wearing new pajamas.)
Phoebe: Not a good day for birds...
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
Chandler: I'm not lying to you, I watched it!
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Rachel: Yeah but, maybe its not what we think. Maybe its tell Monica Im sorry I drank the last of the milk.
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Ross: First of all, I'm not losing...
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Monica: Okay, Ill see you tomorrow! (Doug exits.) Just so you know, were not seeing him tomorrow. (Chandler wonders why.) I-I cannot spend another evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding?
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
Joey: You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me!
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
MONICA: Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.
RACH: Noooo, no, I'm not mad at him. I'm.. I'm not really anything at him anymore.
Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.
Phoebe: Oh no, the dog's not going to be there!
PHOE: It's not that bad.
RACH: Well, we're not seeing each other, so....
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb.
Monica: Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that!
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.