words in movies
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Joey: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Monica: Noo! My ex-boyfriend Richard! Y'know the tall guy, moustache?
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Chandler: Oh my God.
Chandler: Love your condoms my man.
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin!
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Joey: I found my identical hand twin!
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants!
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Ross: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
Joey: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
The Lurker: (to the guard) Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. (Motions to the jackpot.)
The Lurker: It was my quarter!
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Ross: Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! (He grabs the ring, kisses it, and then does a double-take realising where its been.)
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
Monica: I just told my Mom Id cater a party for her.
Ross: Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
Chandler: Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack.
Chandler: Theyre in my bag over there. (Points.)
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
Joey: What's he doin' in my section?
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
RACHEL: Oh my God.
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
MONICA: Oh my god, little Stevie Fisher? How've you been?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
ROSS: OK, my hands were no where near your butt.
RACHEL: Alright you guys, I'm takin' off my shirt.
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
CHAN: [not knowing how to react] Oh my... God?
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
ROSS: OK. Hold my board.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
PHOEBE: I think on my shoulder. [Ross enters]
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
CHANDLER: Wow, there's my fantasy come true. No, seriously.
Joey: No, no, no, no! Hes fine! Look, look, look! (picks up the ball) Heres your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! (he throws the ball and it bounces right next to the dog) Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog!
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Mike: I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!
Monica: Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.
PHOEBE: OK, that's my tattoo.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Rachel: No! No! No! Im not yelling at you, Im just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh Im my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! Ive been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin. Oh, Joey, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
CHANDLER: That's right my friend. It's time for...
ROSS: Look, you wanna get off my back?
PHOEBE: Oh my God.
RACHEL: Oh my God.
MONICA: It's my TV.
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Chandler: Oh thats great, with my luck, thats gonna be him.
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Ross: There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired.
PHOEBE: (singing) I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song. Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.
RICHARD: What? Alright, what about my two?
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Ross: Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!
RACHEL: Oh my God.� I can't believe you live in that building.� My grandmother lives in that building.� Ida Green?� No sense of personal space?� Kind of smells like chicken?� Looks like a potato.
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
Ross: The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, Ill take another question.
STEVE: How are you? Look, you guys wanna meet the group? Come on. So, are you one of the ones who fooled around with my dad?
MONICA: Ok, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was putting on my jacket, and the thing, and the lamp, and it broke.
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
MONICA: You wanna get out of my face?
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
MONICA: Oh my God, it was incredible.
JOEY: Oh my God.
CHANDLER: [grabs for seat belt] Where's my seat belt?
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
ROSS: [enters] Oh my God, what's goin' on?
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Rachel: (finishing the last of her drink) I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow.
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Leslie: (singing) My best shoes, so good to me. I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes. Dont care what people say. My feets best friends, pals to the end. With them Im one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I....
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Rachel: Youre so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
RACHEL: Time is money my friend?
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
CHANDLER: Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there.