words in movies
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Monica: Oh my God, this is horrible!
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Ross: Thats my gym.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Well the idea of a woman flirting with a-with a single man, we-we must alert the church elders!
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Katie: Listen, to be honest, home deliveries are really a part of my job description.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
The Cooking Teacher: Ah Monica, my star student.
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Chandler: (nervous) My duties? (Trying not to crack a joke) All right.
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I think Im gonna find my own place.
Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!
Joey: (taking apart the invitation) Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! Youre at the wedding, you have to cry, "Handkerchief?" "No-no, I got my invitation."
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Ross: This guy could be my babys stepfather!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, he's my... he's my best friend.
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Oh my God!
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Ross: Oh my God!
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Phoebe: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz.
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
Rachel: What? Oh my God! Im gonna miss you so much! (Starts to cry.)
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Ross: Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther.
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!
Rachel: (seeing his new table) Ohh! Oh my God!
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Ross: My apothecary table!!!
Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Joey: (gets up) All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have.
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
JOEY: I figure my character has kids.
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Ross: Its my joke.
Chandler: Its my joke.
Rachel: Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Ross: Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Ross: Its my joke.
Ross and Chandler: Its my joke.
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Ross: Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.
Monica: Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you!
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
Phoebe: (returning from the bathroom) Rach, youre in my seat.
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!
Rachel: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real!
Ross: Yeah, I want my money back.
Rachel: Im just visiting my good friend Carol.
Hillary: And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant.
Jill: She took all my stuff.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Rachel: With Ross and my sister?
Rachel: With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
Chandler: (thinking) All right, this isnt so bad. I like the flower smell! Which is okay, because Ive got my boat.
Phoebe: Hmm, how about my azzz?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's actually in my bedroom.
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Rachel: No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Dina: And youre my big brother! I mean, youre my favorite guy in the whole world. Im not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
Joey: Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to(he stops talking suddenly)
Phoebe: And-and youre using my name!
Monica: I am good. I finished my book.
Ross: I dont know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. Ill go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!!
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!
Monica: Oh my God!
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Phoebe: (singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Chandler: (stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
Ross: And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. (Points to him.)
Chandler: Oh my God, introduce us!
Chandler: Uh-oh, its my boss!
Monica: Oh my God!
Joey: Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Joey: Oh my God! Thats great! Congratulations! Whats the story?!
Phoebe: My God, I cant get a minute of peace around this place.
Rachel: Oh my God! Youre a 30 year old virgin!
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!