words in movies
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Rachel: And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.
Rachel: And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Parker: My God what a fantastically well lit hallway!
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Monica: (Shocked) Oh my God! Chandler!
Joey: No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters!
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
Chandler: Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you!
Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Monica: Oh my god, honey, I'm so so so so so sorry.
Ross: Stop going through my stuff (walks away)!
Rachel: (looking at her watch) Oh my God, I gotta go to work!
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Ross: Oh my God! Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize?
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Janice: OH MY GOD!!
Chandler: (standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I dont have to break up with her this time. Were not involved! Im going to do a pre-emptive strike! Im going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
Chandler: Can I check out what she did to my room?
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Monica: (weeping) Oh my God!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Rachel: (from another room) Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.
Phoebe: (whispering) Oh my God!
Chandler: Young! Youre a man-child okay?! Now go get changed because everybodys ready and please, oh please, keep my underwear!
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Phoebe: Oh my God! (they hug)
Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there!
Monica: (excitedly) Oh my God, we're gonna be parents!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Joey: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin uh, Im gonna have an extra room over at my place
Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him?
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Ross: What, oh my God. What did you do?
Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.
JOEY: That is so not my motto.
Ross: Okay, hold my crawler.
Ross: Oh my God, I love you.
Ross: That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
Phoebe: Oh my God, Mike!
Monica: Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go.
RACHEL: Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute.
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Joey: My folks.
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Monica: Ha! My point!
Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?
Joey: (Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!
Ross: Oh my God, wh-what happened?
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Monica: Oh my God! You're good!
Monica: Oh my God, that's Charlie!
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Something just brushed up against my right leg!
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Rachel: Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head...
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal."
Mike: Oh, it's... my girlfriend.
JADE: Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name.
Ross: (entering) Hey! Has anyone seen my shirt? Its a button down, like a, like a faded salmon?
Precious: My name is Precious.
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
Monica: I'll put a pillowcase over my head.
Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee.
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Chandler: All right ladies, heres what were gonna do. (Points to a stripper.) You are gonna take off my clothes. (To another two strippers) You two, go get the oils. (To another stripper) And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandlers the king! Chandlers the king!"
Katie: Listen, to be honest, home deliveries are really a part of my job description.
Monica: Oh my god!
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Ross: My fajitas!!
Charlie: Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic.
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.